Division of labour

The teacher was having her trials and finally wrote the mother:

“Your son is the brightest boy in my class, but he is also the most mischievous. What shall I do?”

The reply came duly:

“Do as you please. I am having my own troubles with his father” [Encyclopedia of Humour, Wisdom and Wit 1991, 462].

ІІ. Концепт SECONDARY SCHOOL в английских анекдотах можно представить следующими примерами:

1) Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Fred’s test paper.

Pupil: I hope you didn’t see me either! [Кулинич 1999];

2) Teacher: You copied from Fred’s exam paper, didn’t you?

Pupil: How did you know?

Teacher: Fred’s paper says ‘I don’t know’ and you have put ‘Me, neither’! [Кулинич 1999];

3) Pupil: I don’t think I deserved zero on this test.

Teacher: I agree, but that’s the lowest mark I could give you! [Птахина 2001];

4) Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.

Class: Hooray!!!

Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon [Муратов 2003];

5) Teacher: What shape is the world in?

Pupil: Rotten! [Муратов 2003];

6) Teacher: Why does your geography exam have a big zero over it?

Pupil: It’s not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead! [Муратов 2003];

7) Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of.

Pupil: Life imprisonment! [Муратов 2003];

8) Teacher: Ravi, can you find me Australia on the map please?

Pupil: There it is.

Teacher: Now, Ravi, who discovered Australia?

Pupil: I did! [Кулинич 1999];

9) Pupil: I wished we lived in the olden days.

Teacher: Why is that? [Птахина 2001];

10) Teacher: What kind of birds do you find in captivity?

Pupil: Jailbirds! [Муратов 2003];

11) Teacher: What’s the longest word in the English language?

Pupil: Smiles — because there is a mile between the first and last letters! [Муратов 2003];

12) Teacher: What do we do with crude oil?

Pupil: Teach it some manners! [Муратов 2003];

13) Teacher: Are you good at math?

Pupil: Yes and no.

Teacher: What do you mean?

Pupil: Yes, I’m no good at math! [Кулинич 1999];

14) — How are you getting on at school, Dick?

— Well, not too bad. I’m trying to get ahead.

— That’s good, you certainly need one [Кулинич 1999];