The biggest donkey

A Boonville schoolteacher had a great deal of trouble making a boy understand his lesson. Finally he succeeded, and, drawing a long breath, remarked,

“If it wasn’t for me you would be the biggest donkey in Boonville” [Encyclopedia of Humour, Wisdom and Wit 1991, 54];

Why boys are brave.

To the teacher’s request that he give the class ideas on the subject of ‘bravery’, little Johnny delivered himself of the following:

“Some boys are brave because they always play with little boys, and some boys are brave because their legs are too short to run away, but most boys are brave because somebody’s looking” [Encyclopedia of Humour, Wisdom and Wit 1991, 57];

21) Hibernating in summer.

The teacher had been telling her pupils about the bear hibernating in winter. After explaining it to the children she said,

“Can anyone tell me of any other animal that hibernates?”

A little tot’s hand went up, and the teacher said, “Well, Tommy, you may tell us of one.”

“Santa Claus,” said Tommy, “only he does it in the summer time” [Encyclopedia of Humour, Wisdom and Wit 1991, 457];

Worst spell.

SCHOOLMASTER: “Jones, spell ‘weather’, please.”

Jones: “W-e-t-t-h-e-r.”

SCHOOLMASTER: “Well, Jones, that’s certainly the worst spell of weather we’ve had for some time!” [Encyclopedia of Humour, Wisdom and Wit 1991, 552];