Write the jokes using reported speech

* * *

Schoolboy: Miss, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?

Teacher: No, of course, you can’t.

Schoolboy: That’s good, because I haven’t done my homework.

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Customer: There is something wrong with these hot dogs!

Waiter: Well, sir, don’t tell it to me. I’m only a waiter, not a vet.

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Customer: Is this tea or coffee? It tastes like kerosene!

Waiter: If it tastes like kerosene, it is certainly tea. Our coffee tastes like turpentine.

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Mother: I don’t think our neighbours like Johny’s music.

Father: What makes you think so?

Mother: Today they gave him a knife and asked him if he knew what was inside his drum!

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Woman 1: What did you hear at the Opera yesterday?

Woman 2: All sorts of things – Smith is going bankrupt, Mrs Brown has dyed her hair, the Whites are having a divorce.

- * *

Tom: Someone has stolen my wallet.

Tim: Did you feel a strange hand in your wallet?

Tom: Yes, but I thought it was my own.

- * *

Painter: My picture makes everybody speechless with admiration.

Taxi driver: Oh, I must take my wife to see it.

Last week Julius had flu and had to call the doctor. When he was back at work, he told a colleague about what the doctor said to him. Change the tense of verbs only where necessary. Use the information in the table.

Temporary action	permanent action
we change the tense	we don’t change the tense

1. You have a high temperature.

2. You don’t look after yourself properly.

3. You’ve obviously been ill for several days.

4. You can’t go to work.

5. You’re much too thin.

6. You don’t eat sensibly.

7. You need to stay in bed.

8. You don’t keep your flat warm enough.

9. You’ve got a nasty cough.

10. You can phone me if you feel worse.

11. You’ll feel better in a few days.

12. You need a good holiday.

Translate into English.

1. Вона сказала, що її мати працює у банку. 2. Він сказав, що влітку поїде на морський курорт в Хорватії. 3. Ми знали, що він вдома. 4. Вона думала, що ви зателефонуєте їй. 5. Вони думали, що я знаю французьку. 6. Вона відповіла, що концерт їй сподобався. 7. Я думав, ти зайнятий. 8. Викладач запитав, де я живу. 9. Він запитав мене, де я купив цей підручник. 10. Ми не знали, що вона хвора. 11. Я прочитав в Інтернеті, що вчителі розпочали страйк. 12.Перекладач розповів, що у січні 1998 року він перекладав у Парижі на міжнародній конференції. 13. Екскурсовод розповів, що цю картину було написано у 1850 році.

Read, translate and learn. Make headlines for the paragraphs and use them to retell the text.

Great Britain

Great Britain is an island country in northwestern Europe. It is the largest island in Europe and is separated from the continent by the English Channel.

The surface of the British Isles varies very much. It is mainly low-lying meadow and forests, but there are mountains in Scotland and Wales, and deep lakes in Scotland. There are many rivers in Great Britain but they are not very long.

The climate of Great Britain is mild. The summers are cool and rainy. Snow is rare.

The United Kingdom is a monarchy but the powers of the monarch are limited by the British Parliament.

The British Parliament consists of two chambers, the House of Commons and the House of Lords. The Prime Minister is responsible for the policy conducted by the Parliament.