Case study. Shannon wanted to break away from her boyfriend in order to be emotionally and financially independent

Shannon wanted to break away from her boyfriend in order to be emotionally and financially independent, but was frightened of being alone. When she and Bert finally parted ways she felt an intense urge to “go into a store and get something new—even some little things like a silver bracelet or tee-shirt—just to buy something new.”

Shannon ended up charging $600 to buy a shirt, jacket, belt, shoes, and earrings—all of it at a shop where she and Bert had shopped together. She said, “I wanted to believe that I could still go and spend money. At the moment that I was purchasing those items, I felt powerful and confident. A few moments before that, I felt depleted and completely without power.”

It wasn’t that she really wanted the clothing and jewelry items; what Shannon really wanted was how it felt to buy them. The act of spending itself gave her a feeling of pleasure, power, and self-worth. Unfortunately, those feelings were temporary. In fact, once she was out of the store, she realized that the spending spree had put her in such a financial bind, she would have to call Bert to ask him to help her out.

You may not relate to the specifics of Shannon’s story, but it probably still has the ring of familiarity. Most of us have been in situations where we have spent money and afterward found that the expenditure didn’t live up to our expectations, or even that it turned out being a wholly different experience than we intended. It’s no accident “buyer’s remorse” is such a common expression.