Analyse the following thesis statements and give your opinion

· An analysis of environmental marketing in the German detergent industry.

· The German detergent industry needs a new marketing policy in order to satisfy the environmental concerns of consumers.

· The Dutch agriculture and livestock industry must develop more environmentally friendly methods of production and reduce transportation costs in order to maintain its current export position.

· The Dutch agriculture and livestock industry must develop more environmentally friendly methods of production in order to maintain its current export position.

· Dutch companies fail to respond to their consumers' growing concern for the environment.

· Multinational production companies in the Netherlands fail to respond in their marketing efforts to their consumers' growing concern for the environment.

· The use of direct mail will be good for the future of Insurance Company X.

· The use of direct mail in the marketing of insurance will help Company X to offer additional products to their current and future customers.

· What can Company X do to increase its efficiency?

· Company X needs to increase its efficiency by setting up business units.

Now some more examples:

· Russian gold-mining companies need to attract foreign investors in order to survive the process of liberalisation in the domestic gold industry

· Russian advertising agencies should seriously consider using “Russian Target Group Index” database to study the Russian consumers

· Russian trading companies should consider using Budget Planning of their activities in order to improve their financial stability

· Bringing together the criteria for appraisal, feasibility study and basic economic aspects of project financing helps the financial management in oil industry companies to achieve sustainability and economic efficiency within the project

· In the modern Russian economic environment banks should use mortgage of state securities as the main type of credit coverage

· Conducting marketing research of industrial goods market in order to purchase equipment for state owned companies

· Long-term investors in Russian oil and gas sector looking to minimise company risks in Russia should consider making Lukoil and RAO Gasprom the core of their Russian investment portfolios

· The use of promotional campaigns will help FISCARS to build the customer base for its products in Moscow

· Russian and international accounting principles: an opportunity for synchronising and internationalising

· Profitability improvement of international timber trade operations and increasing of their reliability can be achieved through introducing export financing investments

· Foreign legal entities should use tax planning in order to be competitive in the Russian market

· Product recipes’ adaptation to the local tastes is essential for an international food company to compete in the Russian market

· The conditions are more favourable to use mutual funds as an investment instrument in the USA compared to Russia

· Applicability of virtual offices for global companies depends on the use and development of different information technologies.

· There are opportunities in the northern Netherlands for international fast-food franchises, as market conditions indicate these businesses can operate profitably.

· European businesses operating on the Pacific Rim market have to implement Japanese management techniques and adapt to the cultural differences in order to be able to compete in the Pacific Rim.

· Art galleries all over the world will improve their profit by advertising on the Internet.

· Well-practiced vertical and horizontal communication is the key to a company’s long-term organisational success.

4. Topic sentences and outline

4.1. Topic sentences

Body paragraphs develop the ideas of your thesis statement, they provide details, support and development that allow your reader to accept the assertion of your thesis statement. Each body paragraph develops a single idea that is explicitly or implicitly included in the thesis statement. This idea is announced in the topic sentence. The topic sentence presents the specific point that a paragraph will develop. It may appear anywhere but the most effective placement for the topic sentence is usually in the first or second sentence. It is then enlarged through details and support in a unified coherent manner.

Topic sentences grow out of the thesis statement. That is, the ideas in the topic sentences are included in the assertion of the thesis statement.

4.1.1.Unity

Each paragraph should discuss only one idea. Topic sentence controls the details that will be discussed in the paragraph. Remember that each sentence in the paragraph should relate to the topic sentence or another sentence within the paragraph. If the sentence does not relate, do not write it.

4.1.2. Coherence

Paragraphs must flow together in a logical and orderly manner. You cannot list ideas or points at random, you must show the relationship between them.

Transitions are probably the most effective means of establishing coherence. Transitional words and phrases emphasise the relationship between ideas.

4.2. General rules of developing an outline

There comes a point when you are satisfied that your Thesis Statement properly reflects the material available to you from your research. You therefore have a concrete Thesis Statement. At this point you go on to produce an Outline.

An Outline provides a basic structural framework for your graduation assignment. The advantage of creating an Outline before you start writing your first draft is that this forces you to organise your structure in a logical way. You are then free to concentrate on the actual writing with the knowledge that the structure is already in place. The Outline also gives you an overview of the logical progression of your graduation assignment, allowing you to emphasise key points by placing them in positions of importance, and to break difficult subjects into manageable parts.

The Outline provides a useful reference point for your continuing research, acting as an early-warning system to show which areas may need more material and which material may prove to be outside the scope of your task. As you write your first draft, you may discover inadequacies in your Outline and adapt it accordingly.

Your Thesis Statement provides the basis for your Outline. In developing your Outline, you are therefore testing the adequacy of the Thesis Statement. Be aware, therefore, that problems encountered in making your Outline may reflect problems with your Thesis Statement.

Always begin your Outline with your Thesis Statement. Ultimately, the outline will reflect the structure of the contents of your Graduation assignment report. You can use it to check the interrelation of your main and subordinate (supporting) points. It can also be seen as a working Table of Contents.3

4.3. The First Draft

Writing a first draft of your graduation assignment is simply converting and expanding the notes from your Outline into sentences and paragraphs, without worrying too much about grammar, refinements of language, or such mechanical aspects of writing as spelling and punctuation. As you write, just concentrate on getting your ideas on paper. You should expect to revise!

Obviously, your paragraphs should correspond to subdivisions of your Outline. As you write, make an effort to supply transitions between sentences and paragraphs if they come easily. These transitions need not be polished; you will refine them when you revise your graduation assignment. However, if you leave them out entirely at this stage, you may forget what they are, which will make revising much more difficult.

Once you get started, you may find it surprisingly easy to write. The time you have spent on taking accurate notes and preparing a detailed Outline should now pay off. If, however, you find writing the draft a chore, you might take a few minutes off to get a fresh view of your material, but always bear in mind that it is essential to keep moving. Inspiration will come as you are working!

As you draft your graduation assignment, you must make certain that you use your source material effectively, paraphrasing and summarising accurately, smoothly blending your quotations and other research material into the text, and drawing your own conclusions. You will continue to add relevant material as your research progresses.

Your source material must be truly integrated to create a new whole. If you blend the opinions of one source with those of another, do it in such a way that the relationship between them is apparent. Moreover, as you write your first draft, be sure to keep track of your sources. You will find it very difficult to fill in source information later. Include every source and page number in the text! (see also on plagiarism).

4.4. The document

Obviously, the written presentation of your research and findings should follow a certain format. A graduation assignment should contain the following elements:

Front Matter Cover

Title Page

Abstract

Table of Contents

Preface/Acknowledgements

Body Introduction and Methodology

Text Main Body

Conclusions/Recommendations

Back Matter Endnotes

Bibliography

Appendices

4.4.1 Title Page

The title page contains all formal data, such as the name of the Academy and the Department, the name of the graduation assignment author and the supervisor, the year when the graduation assignment was written. Pay special attention to the layout of the title page so that it is user-friendly.

4.4.2. Abstract

Abstract goes immediately after the title page and before the table of contents.

Abstract is a short written statement of the most important ideas of your graduation assignment. It is the first brief introduction into the subject matter of your work; therefore, it should be based on general ideas or principles rather than specific examples or real events. Abstract summarizes and highlights the information about the purpose, scope, methods, results, conclusions and recommendations of the original document. It should be written in such a way that it can be read independently of the graduation assignment, at the same time retaining the essential elements of the original work. Be sure, therefore, to include your recommendations in your abstract.

Make your abstract reader-friendly and try to accommodate the gist of your graduation assignment in no more than one A4 page.

4.4.3 Table of contents

Table of contents is normally the first information parcel a reader looks at and makes a judgment of your work. The table of contents is always compiled after the whole work has been completed and contains all the major headings and sections of the graduation assignment with page numbering, including the “front matter” and “back matter”, except the cover, the title page, abstract and the table of contents itself. Do not forget that the table of contents like an acid paper reflects the logical sequence of the ideas presented in your graduation assignment providing evidence of relevance and coherence of the subject matter.

4.4.4 Preface/Acknowledgements

This is an optional introductory statement (the only part of the graduation assignment that is usually written in the I-form!) which may highlight the relationship of the graduation assignment to a given project or programme (eg the placement) and discuss any special circumstances (eg personal incentives/involvement, part-time job) leading to the Topic of the graduation assignment.

The preface may also contain acknowledgements where you can thank all the people who have helped you in the course of your work. They may not necessarily be your teachers, but also company managers, shop floor workers and even your close friends and relatives who supported you in this hard and challenging activity.

5. Body, introduction, conclusion

5.1. Introduction and Methodology

The purpose of the introduction is to set the scene and lead the reader towards the central idea of your graduation assignment, i.e. your Thesis Statement, which should literally be the final sentence of the first part of this opening chapter. Do not mention your Thesis Statement as a separate paragraph; it should be the logical outcome of your introduction and be an organic part of it!

The introduction may have the following ingredients:

• You might use an intriguing or interesting opening, which not only indicates the Topic, but also captivates the reader. Obviously, there should be a meaningful connection between this opening anecdote, quotation or interesting detail and the Topic / Thesis Statement.

• The background or history of a certain subject may be quite interesting and may even put the subject in perspective for the reader. This type of opening is easily overdone, however, so use it only if the information is relevant for the Thesis Statement. Never use it just as a way to get started.

• If your graduation assignment discusses a Topic with which the reader is unfamiliar, you may have to define it.

• At all costs avoid using I/In my opinion etc.!! Unless stated otherwise, whatever views are presented in your graduation assignment are considered to be your opinion anyway! Use the more objective passive instead. • Do not give away too many arguments and examples, save them for the main body of your graduation assignment. You should make sure that everything in the introduction helps to introduce, not to support the Thesis Statement; the latter should be done in the main body of the text! • Consider writing the introduction last, when you may have a complete enough perspective on the material to introduce it adequately.

The final paragraph of your opening chapter should indicate how you have researched your subject (methodology), describing the balance between desk and field research. In some cases the description of your methodology may even merit a separate (sub)chapter.

5.2. Main body/text

Generally speaking, the main body is a well-organised, opinion presentation of (research) material and findings, all serving to support, clarify, illustrate, in short develop a case for the Thesis Statement.

Most works have no single best organisation. How the text is organised will depend on the Topic / Thesis Statement and how you have investigated it.

5.3. Use of illustrations

Very often the information in the graduation assignment is clarified, supported and analysed with illustrations (graphs, flow charts, pie charts, tables etc.). These illustrations should not be ornaments, but always be functional working parts of your writing and make a direct contribution to the reader's understanding of the subject. Do not forget that your writing must provide the context for the illustration and point out its significance.

As for these illustrations, adhere to the following guidelines:

• Give each illustration a concise title that clearly describes the information (centre or left margin).

• Assign a figure number if your graduation assignment contains five or more illustrations. The figure number precedes the title. If figure numbers are used, number the illustrations consecutively as Figure 1, Figure 2, and so on.

• Relate the illustration to the text around it by referring to it by figure number and title.

• Locate the illustration as closely as possible to its first mention in the text. However, it should never precede its first text mention; its appearance without an introduction will confuse the reader.

• If the illustration is central to the discussion, illuminating or strongly reinforcing it, place the illustration in the text. However, if the illustration is lengthy, detailed, and peripheral to the discussion, place it in an appendix.

• Do not forget that each illustration requires a certain amount of explanation. How much obviously depends on its complexity.

5.4. Lists/enumerations

Lists can save readers time by allowing them to see at a glance specific items, questions, or directions. Lists may also help readers by breaking up complex statements or arguments that include figures and by allowing key ideas to stand out.

However, it should be borne in mind that lists should be both balanced (i.e. all points relatively equal in grammatical form, importance and length) and parallel in structure. Look at the following, 'unparalleled' and 'unbalanced' list:

To ensure that a reader understands how a list relates to the surrounding sentences, always provide adequate transitions before and after any lists. A (sub)chapter should never consist of only a list! If you do not wish to indicate rank or sequence, you can use asterisks (*) or hyphens (-).

In an attempt to avoid writing paragraphs, many writers tend to overuse lists. A graduation assignment that contains too many lists will be difficult to understand, for the reader is forced to connect the separate items and mentally to provide coherence.

5.5. Transitions

Transition is the means of achieving a smooth flow of ideas from sentence to sentence, paragraph to paragraph, and (sub)chapter to (sub)chapter. It smoothly links ideas to clarify the relationship between them. This may be done with a word, a phrase, or even a paragraph.

A linking preview may be used at the beginning of each chapter of your graduation assignment, i.e. a statement of how the material is going to be presented. Obviously, such a preview should not be used to hide a weakness of structure in the body of the text; (the order of) the structure should be clear in itself. Also consider using a brief conclusion at the end of each chapter.

Certain words and phrases are inherently transitional:

• Result: therefore, as a result, consequently, thus, hence

• Example: for example, for instance, specifically, as an illustration

• Comparison: similarly

• Contrast: but, yet, still, however, nevertheless, on the other hand

• Addition: moreover, furthermore, also, too, besides, in addition

• Time: now, later, meanwhile, since then, after that, before that time

• Sequence: first(ly), second(ly), third(ly), then, next, finally

For an even more exhaustive list of linking words and phrases (and the required punctuation), see 'Communicate What You Mean' Unit 2 (Washington Pollack 46-73).

Obviously, the means of transition are not limited to the words and phrases mentioned above. Other techniques are, for example, the repetition of key words and ideas from previous paragraphs and (specifically for paragraph, subchapter and chapter linking) using an opening sentence that summarises the preceding paragraph and introduces the subject of the new paragraph. This also helps to avoid an overuse of transitional words.

In general one can say that, if your Outline is good, your transitional needs will be far less difficult to satisfy (although, obviously, they must nonetheless be satisfied!). Just as the Outline is a kind of map for the writer, transition is a map for the reader.

5.6. Conclusions and Recommendations

The conclusion section ties together the results and main ideas of your graduation assignment in one place. It should always be a restatement of your thesis, in many cases followed by a recommendation for a certain course of action, a prediction, a final judgement, a speculation on the implications of your findings/ideas, or merely a summary of the main points. Always bear in mind that your conclusion is the logical outcome of the data and opinions presented in the body of your graduation assignment and that it should help persuade your reader to accept your thesis statement.

Sometimes it may seem difficult to distinguish between conclusions and recommendations. A clue to do this properly may be an idea that conclusions mean a glance into the past, when you summarize and itemize the findings you have already produced; while recommendations mean a glance into the future, when on the basis of these findings you offer a particular course of actions to be taken by the company.

E.g. For the Thesis Statement «Adaptation of the products to the local taste is essential for any international food company to be successful on the ice cream market»

the conclusions may be:

1. There is a long-standing tradition of ice-cream consumption in Russia.

2. Russian ice-cream market has a huge growth potential.

3. Most of the foreign ice-cream brands failed to win the competition over the Russian brands., etc.

The recommendations for the above Graduation assignment Statement may go as follows:

1.Russian tradition of ice-cream consumption should be thoroughly analyzed by foreign food companies.

2. To be a success on the Russian ice-cream market any international food company should adapt its products to the local tastes., etc.

Be especially careful not to introduce a new topic when you conclude and recommend. Again, a conclusion should always grow out of the information discussed in the body of your graduation assignment and always relate to and reinforce the ideas presented there.

5.7. Back Matter

5.7.1. Endnotes

Endnotes have two uses: (1) to provide documentation references and (2) to provide background information or explanations that would interrupt the flow of thought in the text. Both uses should be combined within a single set of endnotes.

Documentation endnotes are used to identify sources of quoted material. They are also used to show where you obtained facts and opinions other than your own. Obviously, the endnotes are numerically, rather than alphabetically arranged.

Explanatory endnotes are useful when a brief explanation of the background of an assumption is needed but spelling it out in the text might make readers lose the flow of an argument. Because explanatory notes can be distracting, however, they should be kept to a minimum. Lengthy explanations should be placed in an appendix. (See 4.4.3 below.)

Some representative samples of notes (of a book, article, and interview) are shown here:

1. S.B. Sarason, and G. Forsythe, Recent Marketing Developments in France (New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1993), p. 119.

2. M. Gardner, "Marketing the French Way," Newsweek, 14 November 1994, pp. 23-25.

3. Marianne van Dijk, Marketing Manager Renault Holland, interview, 9 December 1994.

Your endnotes are the final product of correct sourcing of your research. They should be as extensive as possible in order for you to adequately defend the extent of your research.

5.7.2. Bibliography

The bibliography gives a list of works, articles etc. you have consulted. It is arranged alphabetically according to authors' last names:

Dijk, Marianne van, Marketing Manager Renault Holland, interview, 9 December 1994.

Gardner, M. "Marketing the French Way," Newsweek, 14 November 1994.

Sarason, S.B., and G. Forsythe. Recent Marketing Developments in France

New York: Macmillan Publishing Company, 1993.

5.7 3. Appendix/appendices

Although not a mandatory part of a graduation assignment, an appendix can be useful for explanations that are too long for notes but that could be helpful to the reader seeking further assistance or a clarification of points made in the graduation assignment. Information should be placed in an appendix when it is too detailed or voluminous to appear in the text without impeding the orderly presentation of ideas. This information may include passages from documents that reinforce or illustrate the text, questionnaires, long lists of data and charts or tables, letters and other supporting documents. An appendix, however, should not be used for miscellaneous bits and pieces of information you were unable to work into the text.

Generally, each appendix contains only one type of information. The contents of each appendix should be identifiable without the reader having to refer to the body of the graduation assignment. An introductory paragraph describing the contents of the appendix, therefore, is necessary for some appendices.

When the graduation assignment contains more than one appendix, arrange them in the order in which they are referred to in the text.

Each appendix begins on a new page and should be identified with a title and a heading: