A Few Laughs

1. Teacher: How did you manage to make so many mistakes in your homework? Student: But I did not make them all by myself. There were three of us – my friend, my sister and me.

2. A student at college sent a telegram to his father: “No mon (money) no fun, your son”.

The father answered: “How sad, too bad, your dad”.

3. A well-known scientist was once travelling by train. When the ticket-collector came for the ticket, the scientist could not find it.

“Never mind, sir!”, said the ticket-collector who knew him very well by his portrait. “Don’t bother about it”.

“No, no, I must find it”, said the scientist. “I want to know where I am going”.

First-Year Students Speak About Themselves

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Words and word combinations on the text.

applicant n —

абитуриент

as well adv	—	также
apart from	—	кроме
construction site	—	стройка
dean n	—	декан
double period	—	занятие, лекция
descriptive geometry	—	начертательная геометрия
examination period	—	экзаменационная сессия
final test, pass	—	зачёт
for prp.	—	так как
mark n (full, good, bad, low)	—	отметка (отличная, хорошая, плохая, низкая)
mention v	—	упоминать
to miss lectures	—	пропускать лекции
monitor n	—	староста
sub-dean n	—	зам. декана