Ex. 2. Render the jokes paying attention to the forms of the Verb

(1) B.C.

Two men, who were visiting a museum, were seen standing in front of an Egyptian mummy, over which hung a placard with the inscription: «B.C.»

Both visitors were mystified by this inscription.

«What do you make of that, Jim?»

«Well», said Jim, «I donno; but may be it was the number of the motocar that killed him».

Іnscription — напис; to mystify — уражати, шокувати.

(2 ) The Question to the Point

The professor was delivering the final lecture of the term. He dwelt much emphasis on the fact that each student should devote all the time to preparing for the final examination. He said:

«The examination papers are now in the hands of a printer. Are there any questions to be asked?»

Silence prevailed. Suddenly a voice from the rear inquired:

«Who is the printer?»

The question to the point — питання власне кажучи; to deliver a lecture — читати лекцію; a term — семестр; to dwell — зупинитися (на), підкреслити.

(3 ) Different Characters

When Sir Walter Scott was in Paris, he went to the English bookseller’s. None of the clerks knew who he was, so they treated him with ordinary politeness and no more. When the writer had left, a buyer who had recognized him told them who he was, and they were very much astonished. Cooper, the American novelist, had been there a few days before, but he said who he was, and his looks and manners were so pompous as if he never forgot and never meant others to forget that he was «the American Walter Scott». The real one never troubled himself about his own importance, for he knew he might safely leave the matter to others.

(4) The editor of a magazine had to send back a great many bad stories. Once a woman wrote to him, «Sir, last week you sent back a story of mine. I know that you did not read the whole story because, as a test, I had glued together some pages. When my story came back I saw that those pages were still glued together. I think it is very bad of you to send back a story without reading the whole of it».

The editor wrote back:

«Madam, when I get an egg for breakfast I do not need to eat the whole of it to see that it is bad».

Editor — редактор; as a test — як перевірка; to glue — склеювати.

(5) Once Samuel Johnson, an English writer and author of the famous Dictionary of the English Language, was asked how he had compiled his great dictionary. He smiled and answered: «Oh, it was like quarrelling with one’s wife — one word led to another».

To compile — складати.

(6) Once a woman told Johnson that she was shocked by the rude words he had put in his dictionary.

«Madam», the writer replied, «You must have been looking for them».

To be shocked (by) — бути шокованим; rude — грубий.

(7) Mark Twain was very bad at answering letters. Once a friend of his who had waited for a long time to get an answer from the writer sent him a sheet of writing paper and a stamp to remind him to write a letter.

A few days later he got a postcard saying, «Thanks for the sheet of writing paper and the stamp. Please send an envelope. Mark Twain».

(8) Once Mark Twain was fishing. Suddenly, a man came up to him from behind and asked: «Are you catching any fish?» «I caught twelve trout yesterday», the writer answered. «Is that so?» said the man. «And do you know who I am?» «No, I don’t», replied Twain. «Well, I’m the game warder of this place, and the season for catching trout is over».

The witty author thought for a while, then smiled at the game warder and asked him, «Well, and do you know who I am?» «No», answered the game warder. «You meet the biggest liar in the world».

Trout — форель; game warder — наглядач.

Test