A Tale of Two Smiles

By Kevin McCaughey

Words:

grumpy = in a bad mood

phony = insincere, not truthful, giving a false impression

scowl = a look of disapproval

make fun of = to ridicule or laugh at

In traveling through Russia, and in meeting lots of Russians, I’ve discovered that most Russians believe Americans smile more than they do.

Many Russians consider the American smile insincere. “I think that the American wants something when he smiles much,” one Russian said. And an English teacher from Ulan-Ude told me the story of man—a fellow Russian—who asked directions from her on the street. She was in a good mood, smiling as she gave the directions, and the man said, “Are you telling the truth? Why are you making fun of me?” and off he went.

Imagine the reaction of a Russian tourist who visits a restaurant in San Francisco when the waiter approaches with a big smile, and says, “Hi! How are you all doing? My name is Gervais, and I’ll be your waiter tonight. Can I tell you about our specials?”

Even Americans think this is a bit much—a bit phony. But they forgive the waiter, because he’s trying to be friendly.

So now picture an American tourist at a café in Ulyanovsk, when the waitress approaches with a menu as fat as a novel. Her lack of smile (along with the shakes of her head to explain that most of the items on the menu are not available) make the American feel unwelcome.

This is why Americans think Russians are often grumpy or rude. The absence of a smile is interpreted as a scowl.

What we have here is a tale of two smiles, a tale of two cultures, a tale of two perceptions.

The Russian perception: Americans smiles are sometimes insincere.

The Reality: Americans smile because they want to be pleasant. They want to show they are willing to communicate, to be kind.

The American perception: Russians are rude and surly.

The Reality: Russians smile when they mean it, when joy makes them want to smile.

When traveling to another country, another culture, it is very easy to judge behavior by the standards of one’s own culture. Thus, the Russian may think an American insincere when he is not. And the American may think a Russian rude when he is not. It is sad that the American traveling in Russia on a tour may judge the people to be sour. However the American who makes one Russian friend will soon have lots, and there will be plenty of smiles to go around.

Questions:
1. In what circumstances do Americans smile?

2. In what circumstances do Russians smile?

3. What do Russians think of the American smile?

4. What do Americans think when Russians sometimes do not smile?