Too concrete

In the classroom the teacher was trying, without success, to quell what looked like a small riot. The principal, passing through the hall, stopped and asked what all the noise was about.

The pretty young teacher was almost in tears.

“I was explaining the difference between concrete and abstract, stating that abstract is something you can’t see, and concrete is something you can see. Then I asked James to give me an illustration.”

“My pants are concrete. Yours are abstract,” he answered.

The principal, attempting to repress a smile, helped the teacher restore order to her class, and then, going into the hall, finally gave vent to the laughter he could no longer restrain [Encyclopedia of Humour, Wisdom and Wit 1991, 518];

He would like to be full of it.

A teacher said to her class,

“Words ending in ‘-ous’ mean ‘full of’, as ‘joyous’ means ‘full of joy’, and ‘vigorous’ means ‘full of vigor’. Now give an example of such a word.”

One young fellow piped up,

“Pious!” [Encyclopedia of Humour, Wisdom and Wit 1991, 519];

He knew.

Teacher: “Yes, children, when the war broke out all the able-bodied men who could leave their families enlisted in the army. Now, can any of you tell what motives took then to the front?”

Bright Boy (triumphantly): “Locomotives” [Encyclopedia of Humour, Wisdom and Wit 1991, 30];