Discussion. 2. What styles of parenting do you know?

1. Match the word combinations (1-11) with a correct definition (a-k).

2. Read the words in bold from the first part of the text “The fear of being permissive”. What do you think the text will be about?

3. Read the first part of the text. Answer the questions.

1) Do problem children appear only in problem families?

2) What are the theories that explain the opposition between the parents' morality and that of the child?

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PART 1. People have never been surprised to find that many irresponsible, delinquent, drug-addicted, or otherwise troubled children have been raised in very poor home environments. This relationship between the "sick" home and the "sick" child has been known for centuries. It is entirely reasonable to expect, and repeated experience has confirmed, that children raised by parents who are morally defective, infantile, indolent, irresponsible, incompetent, or criminal should turn "bad." ("Like father, like son.") We may infer safely that in such families the parents set a poor example, failed to teach proper ethical standards and paid insufficient attention to the child's physical and emotional needs. We may even suspect that such parents did not really want or love their children. Common sense tells us that "problem children" should arise within such a family context.

However, what has been extremely puzzling to parents for centuries is the problem of how to explain those "wild," irresponsible, delinquent children who were reared by parents believed to be honest, responsible, and hard-working citizens. This opposition between the parents' morality and that of the child has occurred so regularly throughout the period of man's recorded history that it has become part of our folklore. Numerous novels and stage plays centre around a prominent person whose son becomes the town's ne'er-do-well or the clergyman's daughter who becomes the town harlot.

Historically, in their attempts to explain this phenomenon, the public has utilized three major theories. The oldest of the three held that the bad child had been possessed by the devil or some other evil spirit. Common sense then dictated that the proper course of action to cure the condition was to "beat the devil" out of the child. As mankind turned away from this primitive demonology, a new idea more compatible with modern, scientific thinking developed. This was the theory of the hereditary transmission of behavioral or personality traits. According to this theory, if a "bad" child suddenly showed up in the middle of a "good" family, it was suspected that one of his ancestors had possessed a defective gene. Presumably then, this gene suddenly manifested itself in the child who was the carrier of the "bad seed." Gradually this idea, too, came to be discredited by twentieth-century geneticists, biologists, and psychologists. There remained, then, but one widely accepted explanation for this phenomenon which has not been refuted by more advanced thinking.

This third explanation places the blame for delinquent children on permissive treatment by the parents. This theory has always coexisted with the other two. But now, since the other two theories have passed from the scene, this one has emerged as the overwhelming favourite.

Specifically, according to this explanation, the parents of delinquent children have been either too ignorant or too irresponsible to have punished their children for various minor and major transgressions. Accordingly, it is the parents' failure or refusal to have used firm, fair, consistent, and even harsh punishment that permitted the child to develop a wild, irresponsible, or antisocial pattern of behavior. Since, according to this theory, the parents' aversion to using punishment as a restraining force permitted the child to develop his delinquent pattern, this particular form of parental failure is known today as permissiveness.

Warnings against parental permissiveness currently represent the major theoretical guideline available to parents and responsible authorities in their efforts to understand, prevent, and treat behavioral disorders.

4. Read the second part of the text. Discuss the meaning of the underlined words and word-combinations with a partner.

5. Single out the topic sentence in each paragraph.

PART 2. Yet the "enemy" of the child is not permissiveness, but rather the fear of being permissive. It is this fear which drives good, middle-class parents to behave toward their children in those callous, unsympathetic, insensitive ways which ultimately result in youthful delinquency. It is this fear of permissiveness which frightens parents away from demonstrating those humane, constructive, conciliatory forms of behavior which would enhance rather than destroy their relationship with their children. It is the parents' fear of permissiveness that forces them to abandon gentleness, kindness, trust, faith, and forgiveness in one's relationship with others as the major child-rearing instruments. Having been forced by an antiquated theory to abandon those forms of behavior which could produce loving feelings in their children, the parents must inevitably produce angry feelings with tragic consequences.

Contrary to what you may now believe, vast numbers of children who become delinquent and turn to the use of dangerous drugs have not been raised permissively. Nor do they come from homes in which the parents have been irresponsible, incompetent, or otherwise derelict in meeting their responsibilities to their children. Rather, these drug-using children have been reared by parents who are the most well-organized, highly informed, sincere, intelligent, dedicated, and responsible members of the community. It is the average, middle-class parent, being guided primarily by the fear of being permissive, who, during the normal process of responsible child-rearing, produces unknowingly a degree of hostile feelings in the child which in turn produces various forms of antisocial behavior.

For centuries, people have been raising their children following the age-old theory that a sufficient degree of punishment judiciously applied would create good character and good behavior. The primary reason for the persistence of public confidence in the effectiveness of punishment is that punishment does affect behavior and the results are almost immediate. Particularly when the child is young, punishment produces the immediately observable changes in behavior the parent desires. As any parent knows, if a young child's hand is slapped often enough and hard enough, the child will stop doing with that hand what the parent does not want him to do with it. This immediately observable cause-and-effect sequence gives the use of punishment the appearance of indisputable validity. The common sense of the parent inclines him to accept the evidence of his own senses. Thus, logic and "common sense" backed up by widespread social approval dictate that parents continue to depend on the theory that demands punishment for misbehavior, rather than gamble on some more abstract theory that promises good behavior later, but provides less immediately observable results in controlling the child's behavior here and now.

The second factor that accounts for the longevity of this old approach is the overwhelming public belief in its effectiveness. This massive public belief in the usefulness of punishment is itself created by factor number one described above. However, once the nearly universal public acceptance is achieved, the public pressure itself becomes a factor that perpetuates the belief. The individual parent is hopelessly intimidated by the existence of a theory that historically and to the present has achieved the status of an unassailable virtue. For the individual parent to deviate from the accepted pattern would expose him to public rebuke, ridicule, and condemnation. Thus, the responsible parent is trapped by his conscience into alienating the child.

It is time now for us to stop trying to place the blame for delinquency on either the parents, the child, or society as a whole. These modern attempts to find a source of evil somewhere inside the child, the parents, or society represent nothing more than a sophisticated form of demonology, in which the public and some professionals are playing the role of high priests in assigning the guilt.

Although it will be difficult to do so, we must desist from our self-righteous intellectual, yet basically superstitious, attempts to find fault with the parents' intelligence or character or morals when children become delinquent. We must come to recognize that the average middle-class parent is neither mentally, morally, or psychologically defective. We should all graciously, generously, and compassionately accept the idea that the majority of those parents whose children turn away from parental values or toward the use of dangerous drugs are just as intelligent, informed, sincere, conscientious, moral, and responsible as we ourselves. If we could grant them these virtues instead of attempting to assign blame, we could focus our attention on the real "enemy": the theory and approach to child-rearing prevalent in this country that forces parents to interact with their children in ways that inevitably accentuate angry rather than loving feelings - and thereby produces delinquency. Moreover, we could more readily comprehend the apparent paradox that has been a source of perplexity for centuries: why it is that the most conscientious parents would be so highly prone to producing rebellious, delinquent children.

The essence of the problem of drug abuse and other forms of delinquency are the feelings of love or lack of love that exist between people. Delinquency is a "disease" which is produced by mismanaged feelings. The child turns toward drugs and delinquency as the relative strength of his feelings of anger gradually comes to outweigh the feelings of love he holds toward his parents.

It is not sufficient for the parent merely to love the child "inwardly", the love has to be demonstrated overtly through specific actions which revealed the love. This, in turn, produces those loving feelings in the child which immunizes him against delinquency.

It is clear, however, that the ideal parenting style falls somewhere in the middle. Balanced-style parenting combines the best of permissive and authoritative all into one moderate and level-headed parenting strategy. Children need boundaries, but it is equally important that they know how to think for themselves and weigh the pros and cons of situations independently. Parents are not supposed to be their child’s best friend, but they also are not supposed to be their child’s worst nightmare, and that is why finding the right balance between permissive and authoritative parenting styles is essential to raising a well-balanced and responsible child.

(http://www.naturalchild.org)

1). Вседозволенность более применима к замкнутым и стеснительным детям. 2) Во многом наши знания о воспитании детей мы получаем в своей семье, где воспитывались сами. Не случайно ведь говорят что «яблоко от яблони недалеко падает». 3) Теория наследственной передачи «плохих» генов была сочтена генетиками несостоятельной. 4) Неведение и безответственность родителей, их нежелание наказывать детей за незначительные и серьезные проступки приводят к появлению малолетних преступников. 5) Если родители не прививают детям надлежащие этические нормы и уделяют недостаточно внимания эмоциональному и физическому развитию ребенка, дети могут вырасти безответственными и неуправляемыми. 6) Тем не менее, дети с преступными наклонностями не всегда вырастают в неблагополучных семьях. 7) Отсутствие сдерживающей силы, жесткого наказания не сформируют твердый характер и не смогут привить поведенческие нормы, принятые в обществе. 8) Из опасений чрезмерного потворства желаниям ребенка родители из мягких и любящих превращаются в жестких и чересчур требовательных и этим отчуждают ребенка. 9) Наказывая ребенка, родители видят немедленную и наглядную связь причины и следствия, что придает наказанию неоспоримую обоснованность. 10) Ребенок должен знать границы дозволенного, но в то же время ему необходимо учиться самостоятельно мыслить и оценивать ситуацию.

7. Complete the sentences with the correct preposition or adverb.

1) Middle-class parents behave _________ their children in those callous, insensitive ways which result in youthful delinquency. 2) The fear of permissiveness frightens parents ________ ________ demonstrating humane forms of behavior. 3) Contrary _______ what you may believe, vast numbers of children who become delinquent have not been raised permissively, nor do they come from homes in which the parents have been derelict _______ meeting their responsibilities 4) We must desist _______ our attempts to find fault with the parents' character when children become delinquent. 5) Most conscientious parents are highly prone _______ producing rebellious children. 6) Loving feelings in children immunize them _______ delinquency.

8. Complete the following sentences using the material from Text 1.

1) … the "sick" home and the "sick" child…. 2) … opposition between the parents' morality and that of the child…. 3) … one of his ancestors had possessed a defective gene. 4) … the theory of the hereditary transmission…. 5) … the parents of delinquent children have been either too ignorant or too irresponsible…. 6) … the parents' aversion to using punishment…. 7) It is this fear of permissiveness which…. 8) … derelict in meeting their responsibilities to their children. 9) … immediately observable cause-and-effect sequence…. 10) … public rebuke, ridicule, and condemnation. 11) … we must desist from our self-righteous intellectual, yet basically superstitious, attempts…. 12) … accentuate angry rather than loving feelings…. 13) … which immunizes him against delinquency.

9. Answer the following questions.

1. According to the article, what are the reasons for behavioural disorder?

2. What is the essence of the age-old theory following which people have been raising their children for centuries?

3. What are the reasons for the persistence of public confidence in the effectiveness of punishment?

4. What is the essence of balanced-style parenting?

10. Choose one of the following statements from TEXT 1 and comment on it.

1) … punishment does affect behavior… 2) … the majority of those parents whose children turn away from parental values or toward the use of dangerous drugs are … intelligent, informed, sincere, conscientious, moral, and responsible. 3) The essence of the problem of drug abuse and other forms of delinquency are the feelings of love or lack of love that exist between people. 4) Children need boundaries… 5) Like father, like son.