Sibling conflict

“Why can’t our kids just get along? Why must they always fight?” Parents get tired of the bickering, teasing, competing. They can’t understand why their children can’t leave each other alone, and just be friendr. “Who needs it?” parents ask.

The answer is “the children do.” Fighting is not a sign of children not getting.along. It is how they get along - using conflict to test their power, establish differences, and ventilate emotion. Children compete for dominance, parental attention, parental support, and household resources. Who gets what? Who does what? Who goes first? Who gets most? Who’s right? Who’s best?

When we are children, our brothers and sisters - are our first friends and first enemies. The effect of sibling relationships in childhood can last a lifetime. Many experts say that the relationship among brothers and sisters explains a great deal about family life, especially today when brothers and sisters often spend more time with one another than with their parents.

Studies have shown that sibling relationships between sister-sister pairs and brother-brother pairs are different. Sister pairs are the closest. Brothers are the most competitive. Sisters are usually more supportive of each other. They are more talkative, frank, and better at expressing themselves and sharing their feelings. On the other hand, brothers are usually more competitive with each other. The major exception to this is identical twins for whom similarity creates an unusual intimacy. The more alike they are, the closer they feel. The closer they feel, the more alike they want to become. They can feel incomplete in absence from each other, they can have unspoken means of knowing what is going on in each other, and they may even construct a secret language between them that no one else understands.

Experts agree that the relationship among siblings is influenced by many factors. For example, studies have shown, that both brothers and sisters become more competitive and aggressive when their parents treat them even a little bit differently from one another. But parental treatment is not the only factor. Genetics, gender, life events, people, and experiences outside the family all shape the lives of siblings.

1. Parents get tired of siblings argument. 2. Parents quite understand their children. 3. Parents want their children to leave them alone. 4. Children fight for dominance and parent’s attention.

5. Fighting means that children cannot get along. 6. Siblings are our oldest friends in life. 7. Some siblings have good relationships, but other siblings have bad relationships. 8. Sibling relationships are among the most important relationships in life. 9. Sisters get along better with their sisters than with their brothers. 10. Females and males generally have different sibling relationships. 11. Siblings spend a lot of time together because they have to. 12. There are many causes of good and bad sibling relationships. 13. Research has shown that siblings hate to fight. 14. When parents treat each child a little differently, the children get along better.