case that were in the rack to the carriage madame had just left. 18 страница

"If anyone's to blame I am. I went to see Tom yesterday afternoon and we arranged

it then. All this stuff about love that one hears about in plays and reads in novels.

I'm nearly eighteen. I thought I ought to see for myself what it was all about."

Julia sat up in bed and looked at Roger with wide, inquiring eyes.

"Roger, what do you mean?"

He was composed and serious.

"Tom said he knew a couple of girls (Том сказал, что он знает пару девушек)

who were all right (которые подойдут; all right — удовлетворительный, не

вызывающий возражений, здоровый). He's had them both himself (он сам

раньше с ними обеими переспал; to have a woman — /сленг/ обладать

женщиной). They live together (они живут вместе) and so we phoned and asked

them to meet us after the show (и мы позвонили и попросили их встретить нас

после сеанса). He told them I was a virgin (он сказал им, что я девственник)

and they'd better toss up for me (и что им лучше бросить жребий, кто будет со

мной: «на меня»; to toss up — подбрасывать, бросать жребий). When we got

back to the flat (когда мы вернулись в квартиру) he took Jill into the bedroom

(он отправился с Джилл в спальню: «взял Джилл в спальню») and left me the

sitting-room and Joan (и оставил мне гостиную комнату и Джоан)."

For the moment she did not think of Tom (в этот самый момент она не думала о

Томе), she was so disturbed at what Roger was saying (она была так

встревожена тем, что говорил Роджер).

"I don't think it's so much really (я не думаю, что в этом уж так много

/особенного/, на самом-то деле). I don't see it's anything to make all that fuss

about (я не вижу в этом ничего такого, ради чего стоит поднимать всю эту

суету; to make a fuss — поднимать шум, суетиться)."

virgin ['vq:dZIn] disturbed [dIs'tq:bd] fuss [fAs]

"Tom said he knew a couple of girls who were all right. He's had them both

himself. They live together and so we phoned and asked them to meet us after the

show. He told them I was a virgin and they'd better toss up for me. When we got

back to the flat he took Jill into the bedroom and left me the sitting-room and

Joan."

For the moment she did not think of Tom, she was so disturbed at what Roger was

saying.

"I don't think it's so much really. I don't see it's anything to make all that fuss

about."

She could not speak (она не могла говорить). The tears filled her eyes (слезы

наполнили ее глаза) and ran quickly down her face (и побежали быстро /вниз/

по ее лицу).

"Mummy, what's the matter (мамочка, что случилось)? Why are you crying

(почему ты плачешь)?"

"But you're a little boy (но ты же еще маленький /мальчик/)."

He came over to her (он подошел к ней; over — зд. приближение к какому-либо

месту, или переход к чему-либо) and sitting on the side of her bed (и, присев на

край ее постели) took her in his arms (обнял ее: «взял ее в свои руки»).

"Darling, don't cry (дорогая, не плачь). I wouldn't have told you (я бы ни за что

не рассказал тебе) if I'd thought it was going to upset you (если бы я подумал,

что это расстроит тебя). After all (в конце концов), it had to happen sooner or

later (это должно было случиться, раньше или позже)."

"But so soon (но так скоро). So soon (так скоро). It makes me feel so old (от

этого я чувствую себя такой старой: «это заставляет меня чувствовать /себя/

такой старой»)."

"Not you, darling (конечно же, нет, дорогая: «ты не /такая старая/»). Age

cannot wither her (/ни/ возраст не может иссушить ее; to wither — вянуть,

сохнуть, блекнуть), nor custom stale her infinite variety (ни привычка не лишит

свежести ее бесконечное разнообразие; to stale — лишать новизны,

затаскивать, изнашивать — все цитата из Шекспира: «Цезарь и

Клеопатра»)."

quickly ['kwIklI] arm [Q:m] infinite ['InfInIt]

She could not speak. The tears filled her eyes and ran quickly down her face.

"Mummy, what's the matter? Why are you crying?"

"But you're a little boy."

He came over to her and sitting on the side of her bed took her in his arms.

"Darling, don't cry. I wouldn't have told you if I'd thought it was going to upset

you. After all, it had to happen sooner or later."

"But so soon. So soon. It makes me feel so old."

"Not you, darling. Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale her infinite variety."

She giggled through her tears (она хихикнула сквозь слезы).

"You fool, Roger (ты дурачок, Роджер), d'you think Cleopatra would have liked

what that silly old donkey said of her (неужели ты думаешь, что Клеопатре

понравилось бы то, что этот глупый старый осел сказал о ней)? You might

have waited a little longer (ты мог бы подождать чуть подольше)."

"It's just as well I didn't (пожалуй хорошо, что я не /стал ждать/). I know all

about it now (я знаю все об этом теперь). To tell you the truth (сказать тебе по

правде) I think it's rather disgusting (я думаю, что это все довольно

отвратительно)."

She sighed deeply (она глубоко вздохнула). It was a comfort (ее это

успокаивало; comfort — утешение, поддержка, покой) to feel him holding her

so tenderly (чувствовать, как он обнимает: «держит» ее так нежно). But she

felt terribly sorry for herself (но ей было ужасно жалко себя).

"You're not angry with me, darling (ты не сердишься на меня, дорогая)?" he

asked (спросил он).

"Angry (сержусь)? No. But if it had to come (но, если уж это должно было

случиться; to come — зд. наступать, приходить) I wish it hadn't been quite so

matter of fact (как бы мне хотелось, что бы это не было таким прозаичным;

matter-of-fact — сухой, лишенный фантазии). You talk as though it had just been

a rather curious experiment (ты говоришь так, как если бы это был просто

довольно любопытный эксперимент: «опыт»)."

"I suppose it was in a way (я полагаю, что так и было, в некотором роде)."

tear [teq] rather ['rQ:Dq] curious ['kjV(q)rIqs]

She giggled through her tears.

"You fool, Roger, d'you think Cleopatra would have liked what that silly old

donkey said of her? You might have waited a little longer."

"It's just as well I didn't. I know all about it now. To tell you the truth I think it's

rather disgusting."

She sighed deeply. It was a comfort to feel him holding her so tenderly. But she

felt terribly sorry for herself.

"You're not angry with me, darling?" he asked.

"Angry? No. But if it had to come I wish it hadn't been quite so matter of fact. You

talk as though it had just been a rather curious experiment."

"I suppose it was in a way."

She gave him a little smile (она слегка улыбнулась ему).

"And you really think that was love (и ты на самом деле думаешь, что это была

любовь)?"

"Well, it's what most people mean by it, isn't it (ну, это то, что большинство

людей имеют в виду: «считают так», не так ли)?"

"No, they don't (нет, не так), they mean pain and anguish (нет, они имеют в виду

боль и муки), shame (стыд), ecstasy (экстаз), heaven and hell (рай: «небеса» и

ад); they mean the sense of living more intensely (они имеют в виду то чувство,

/от которого/ будто живешь более напряженно: «сильно, чрезвычайно»), and

unutterable boredom (и невыразимую тоску); they mean freedom and slavery

(они имеют в виду свободу и рабскую зависимость: «рабство»); they mean

peace and unrest (они имеют в виду спокойствие: «мир» и беспокойство:

«волнение»)."

Something in the stillness with which he listened to her (что-то в той

неподвижности, с которой он слушал ее) made her give him a glance through

her eyelashes (заставило ее взглянуть на него сквозь ресницы). There was a

curious expression in his eyes (было некое странное выражение в его глазах).

She did not know what it meant (и она не знала, что оно означает). It was as

though he were gravely listening (было похоже на то, как будто он серьезно

прислушивался) to a sound that came from a long way off (к звуку, который

доносился откуда-то издалека; a long way off — далеко).

love [lAv] ecstasy ['ekstqsI] unutterable [An'At(q)rqb(q)l] boredom ['bO:dqm]

She gave him a little smile.

"And you really think that was love?"

"Well, it's what most people mean by it, isn't it?"

"No, they don't, they mean pain and anguish, shame, ecstasy, heaven and hell; they

mean the sense of living more intensely, and unutterable boredom; they mean

freedom and slavery; they mean peace and unrest."

Something in the stillness with which he listened to her made her give him a

glance through her eyelashes. There was a curious expression in his eyes. She did

not know what it meant. It was as though he were gravely listening to a sound that

came from a long way off.

"It doesn't sound as though (похоже на то: «это не звучит так, как») it were

much fun (что это не очень-то забавно)," he murmured (пробормотал он).

She took his smooth face in her hands (она взяла его лицо, с гладкой кожей:

«гладкое лицо» в свои руки) and kissed his lips (и поцеловала его в губы).

"I'm a fool, aren't I (я дурочка, не так ли)? You see (видишь ли), I still see you as

a little baby boy (я все еще смотрю на тебя, как на маленького мальчика,

малыша) that I'm holding in my arms (что я держу на /моих/ руках)."

A twinkle shone in his eyes (искорка: «огонек» сверкнула в его глазах).

"What are you grinning at, you ape (над чем это ты улыбаешься, ты обезьянка;

to grin — ухмыляться, скалить зубы)?"

"It made a damned good photograph, didn't it (из этого вышла чертовски

хорошая фотография, не так ли)? "

She could not but laugh (она не могла не рассмеяться).

"You pig (ты поросенок: «свинья»). You filthy pig (ты грязный поросенок)."

"I say, about the understudy (послушай, по поводу дублерши), is there any

chance for Joan (есть хоть какой-нибудь шанс для Джоан)?"

"Tell her to come and see me one day (передай ей: «скажи ей» зайти навестить

меня на днях; one day — однажды, в ближайшие дни)."

grin [grIn] pig [pIg] chance [tSQ:ns]

"It doesn't sound as though it were much fun," he murmured.

She took his smooth face in her hands and kissed his lips.

"I'm a fool, aren't I? You see, I still see you as a little baby boy that I'm holding in

my arms."

A twinkle shone in his eyes.

"What are you grinning at, you ape?"

"It made a damned good photograph, didn't it?"

She could not but laugh.

"You pig. You filthy pig."

"I say, about the understudy, is there any chance for Joan?"

"Tell her to come and see me one day."

But when Roger left her she sighed (но, когда Роджер ушел: «оставил ее», она

вздохнула). She was depressed (она была подавлена). She felt very lonely (она

чувствовала себя очень одинокой). Her life had always been so full and so

exciting (ее жизнь всегда была настолько заполненной и так восхитительной;

full — полный) that she had never had the time (и у нее никогда не было

времени) to busy herself much with Roger (чтобы заниматься Роджером). She

got in a state, of course (она волновалась, конечно; state — состояние, в т.ч.

возбужденное или напряженное), when he had whooping-cough or measles

(когда у него был коклюш: «судорожный кашель» или корь), but he was for

the most part in robust health (но он пребывал, по большей части, в крепком

здравии), and then he occupied a pleasant place in the background of her

consciousness (и тогда он занимал приятное место где-то на заднем плане в ее

сознании). But she had always felt (но она всегда чувствовала) that he was there

to be attended to when she was inclined (что он всегда был там /под рукой/,

чтобы присматривать за ним, когда она чувствовала к этому склонность) and

she had often thought (и она часто думала) it would be nice when he was old

enough really to share her interests (что будет здорово, что когда он подрастет,

право: «будет достаточно взрослым», он будет разделять ее интересы). It

came to her as a shock now to realize that (это стало для нее настоящим

потрясением сейчас понять, что), without ever having really possessed him

(никогда на самом деле и не обладая им; without — без), she had lost him (она

потеряла его; to lose (lost) — терять, не сохранить). Her lips tightened (ее

губы сжались) when she thought of the girl who had taken him from her (когда

она подумала о той девушке, которая забрала его от нее).

"An understudy (дублерша). My foot (как бы не так; foot — нога, ступня,

основание, my foot — так я и поверил, ври больше)."

depressed [dI'prest] whooping cough ['hu:pINkOf] measles ['mi:z(q)lz]

But when Roger left her she sighed. She was depressed. She felt very lonely. Her

life had always been so full and so exciting that she had never had the time to busy

herself much with Roger. She got in a state, of course, when he had whooping-

cough or measles, but he was for the most part in robust health, and then he

occupied a pleasant place in the background of her consciousness. But she had

always felt that he was there to be attended to when she was inclined and she had

often thought it would be nice when he was old enough really to share her

interests. It came to her as a shock now to realize that, without ever having really

possessed him, she had lost him. Her lips tightened when she thought of the girl

who had taken him from her.

"An understudy. My foot."

Her pain absorbed her so (ее боль поглотила ее настолько) that she could not feel

the grief she might have felt (что она не могла чувствовать огорчения, которое

она могла бы почувствовать) from her discovery of Tom's perfidy (от /ее/

раскрытия вероломства Тома). She had always known in her bones (она всегда

была уверена в том; bone — кость, скелет, костяк; to feel /to know/ in one's

bones — быть совершенно уверенным) that he was unfaithful to her (что он был

неверен ей; faith — вера). At his age (в его возрасте), with his wanton

temperament (с его распутным: «буйным» темпераментом), with herself tied

down by her performances at the theatre (и она сама, связанная = занятая

постоянно своими спектаклями в театре; to tie down — связывать, стеснять),

by all manner of engagements which her position forced upon her

(всевозможными встречами, которые ее положение навязывало ей; manner —

метод, способ, зд.уст. сорт, род), it was plain that he had ample opportunity

(было совершенно ясно, что у него было достаточно возможностей) to gratify

his inclinations (удовлетворить свои склонности).

absorb [qb'zO:b, qb'sO:b] unfaithful [An'feITf(q)l] position [pq'zIS(q)n]

Her pain absorbed her so that she could not feel the grief she might have felt from

her discovery of Tom's perfidy. She had always known in her bones that he was

unfaithful to her. At his age, with his wanton temperament, with herself tied down

by her performances at the theatre, by all manner of engagements which her

position forced upon her, it was plain that he had ample opportunity to gratify his

inclinations.

She had shut her eyes (она закрыла на это глаза). All she asked was that she

should not know (все что она просила — так это чтобы она не знала). This was

the first time (это был первый раз) that an actual fact had been thrust upon her

notice (когда действительный факт /неверности/ был навязан ее вниманию; to

thrust — толкать, тыкать, совать).

"I must just put up with it (я должна просто смириться с этим)," she sighed

(вздохнула она). Thoughts wandered through her mind (мысли блуждали в ее

уме). "It's like lying and not knowing you're lying (это похоже на то, что лжешь

и не знаешь, что лжешь), that's what's fatal (именно это и неизбежно:

«фатально»); I suppose it's better to be a fool and know it (я полагаю, что это

лучше — быть дураком и знать это) than a fool and not know it (чем /быть/

дураком и не знать этого)."

actual ['xktSVql] thrust [TrAst] fool [fu:l]

She had shut her eyes. All she asked was that she should not know. This was the

first time that an actual fact had been thrust upon her notice.

"I must just put up with it," she sighed. Thoughts wandered through her mind. "It's

like lying and not knowing you're lying, that's what's fatal; I suppose it's better to

be a fool and know it than a fool and not know it."

TOM went to Eastbourne with his family for Christmas (Том уехал в Истбурн со

своей семьей на Рождество). Julia had two performances on Boxing Day (у

Джулии было два спектакля в «день подарков»; Boxing Day — второй день

после Рождества, день, когда вручают подарки, box — коробка, ящик,

сундук), so the Gosselyns stayed in town (из-за этого Госселины остались в

городе); they went to a large party at the Savoy (они отправились на большой

прием в «Савой») that Dolly de Vries gave to see the New Year in (который

Долли де Фриз устроила для встречи Нового года; to see the New Year in —

встретить Новый год); and a few days later Roger set off for Vienna (и, через

несколько дней: «несколькими днями позже» Роджер отправился в Вену).

While he was in London Julia saw little of Tom (пока он был в Лондоне, Джулия

нечасто: «мало» видела Тома). She did not ask Roger what they did (она не

спрашивала Роджера, чем они занимались: «что они делали») when they tore

about the town together (когда они носились по городу вдвоем: «вместе»; to

tear about — носиться сломя голову, метаться; to tear — рвать), she did not

want to know (она не хотела знать /этого/), she steeled herself not to think (она

твердо решила не думать /об этом/; to steel — закалять /металл/,

ожесточать, to steel oneself to do smth. — собраться с силами сделать что-

либо; steel — сталь) and distracted her mind by going to as many parties as she

could (и отвлекала свое внимание тем, что ходила на столько много приемов,

как только могла; to distract — отвлекать, уводить в сторону).

Christmas ['krIsmqs] Boxing Day ['bOksINdeI] New Year ["nju:'jIq]

TOM went to Eastbourne with his family for Christmas. Julia had two

performances on Boxing Day, so the Gosselyns stayed in town; they went to a

large party at the Savoy that Dolly de Vries gave to see the New Year in; and a few

days later Roger set off for Vienna. While he was in London Julia saw little of

Tom. She did not ask Roger what they did when they tore about the town together,

she did not want to know, she steeled herself not to think and distracted her mind

by going to as many parties as she could.

And there was always her acting (и, всегда оставалось ее творчество: «игра»);

when once she got into the theatre (в тот самый момент, когда: «когда, как

только» она приезжала в театр) her anguish, her humiliation, her jealousy were

allayed (ее муки, ее унижение, ее ревность утихали). It gave her a sense of

triumphant power (это придавало ей чувство торжествующий силы) to find, as

it were in her pot of grease paint (обнаружить, как если бы она была в ее

баночке с гримом), another personality (другую личность) that could be touched

by no human griefs (которую не могли затронуть человеческие страдания;

grief — горе, печаль, огорчен ие). With that refuge always at hand (с таким-то

убежищем, которое всегда под рукой) she could support anything (она могла

вынести все что угодно; to support — выдерживать, помогать, сносить).

On the day that Roger left (в тот самый день, когда Роджер уехал), Tom rang

her up from his office (Том позвонил ей из конторы).

"Are you doing anything tonight (ты занята сегодня вечером: «ты делаешь что-

нибудь сегодня вечером»)? What about going out on the binge (как насчет

выбраться куда-нибудь и выпить; binge — выпивка, кутеж)?"

"No, I'm busy (нет, я занята)."

anguish ['xNgwIS] allay [q'leI] refuge ['refju:dZ]

And there was always her acting; when once she got into the theatre her anguish,

her humiliation, her jealousy were allayed. It gave her a sense of triumphant power

to find, as it were in her pot of grease paint, another personality that could be

touched by no human griefs. With that refuge always at hand she could support

anything.

On the day that Roger left, Tom rang her up from his office.

"Are you doing anything tonight? What about going out on the binge?"

"No, I'm busy."

It was not true (это было неправдой), but the words slipped out of her mouth (но

слова соскользнули с губ: «изо рта»), independent of her will (независимо от ее

воли).

"Oh, are you (о, ты /занята/)? Well, what about tomorrow (ну, как насчет

завтра)?"

If he had expressed disappointment (если бы он выразил разочарование), if he

had asked her to cut the date he supposed she had (если бы он попросил ее

отменить встречу, которая, как он предполагал, у нее была; to cut — резать,

пресекать, date — разг. свидание, встреча), she might have had strength to

break with him then and there (она, возможно, нашла: «имела» бы силы, чтобы

порвать с ним немедленно; strength — сила). His casualness defeated her

(будничность его /тона/ разрушила ее /планы /; to defeat — нанести

поражение, разбить). "Tomorrow's all right (завтра — подойдет: «хорошо»)."

"O.K. I'll fetch you at the theatre after the show (я заберу тебя в театре, после

представления). Bye-bye (пока)."

independent ["IndI'pendqnt] strength [streNT, strenT] defeat [dI'fi:t]

It was not true, but the words slipped out of her mouth, independent of her will.

"Oh, are you? Well, what about tomorrow?"

If he had expressed disappointment, if he had asked her to cut the date he supposed

she had, she might have had strength to break with him then and there. His

casualness defeated her. "Tomorrow's all right."

"O.K. I'll fetch you at the theatre after the show. Bye-bye."

Julia was ready and waiting (Джулия была готова и ждала) when he was shown

into her dressing-room (когда его провели в ее уборную). She was strangely

nervous (она была удивительно нервозна). His face lit up when he saw her (его

лицо осветилось, когда он увидел ее; to light (lit, lighted) — зажигать,

освещать), and when Evie went out of the room for a moment (и, когда Эви

вышла из комнаты на мгновение) he caught her in his arms (он схватил ее в

свои объятия) and warmly kissed her on the lips (и тепло поцеловал ее в губы).

"I feel all the better for that (я чувствую себя лучше теперь; all the better — тем

лучше)," he laughed (засмеялся он).

You would never have thought to look at him, so young, fresh and ingenuous

(никогда бы и не подумаешь, глядя на него, такого молодого, свежего и

искреннего), in such high spirits (в таком хорошем расположении духа), that he

was capable of giving her so much pain (что он был способен причинять ей

столько боли). You would never have thought (никогда не подумаешь) that he

was so deceitful (что он был настолько лживым). It was quite plain that he had

not noticed (было совершенно ясно, что он не заметил) that for more than a

fortnight he had hardly seen her (что за более чем две недели, он почти что не

видел ее; hardly — едва, на силу, почти не).

("Oh, God, if I could only tell him to go to hell (о, Боже, если бы я только могла

сказать ему, чтобы он катился к черту; hell — ад, преисподняя).")

ingenuous [In'dZenjVqs] capable ['keIpqb(q)l] deceitful [dI'si:tf(q)l]

Julia was ready and waiting when he was shown into her dressing-room. She was

strangely nervous. His face lit up when he saw her, and when Evie went out of the

room for a moment he caught her in his arms and warmly kissed her on the lips.

"I feel all the better for that," he laughed.

You would never have thought to look at him, so young, fresh and ingenuous, in

such high spirits, that he was capable of giving her so much pain. You would never

have thought that he was so deceitful. It was quite plain that he had not noticed that

for more than a fortnight he had hardly seen her.

("Oh, God, if I could only tell him to go to hell.")

But she looked at him with a gay smile in her lovely eyes (но она смотрела на

него с веселой улыбкой в ее прекрасных глазах).

"Where are we going (куда мы пойдем)?"

"I've got a table at Quag's (я заказал столик в «Квег»). They've got a new turn

there (у них там в программе новый номер; turn — зд. очередной номер в

программе, сценка, интермедия), an American conjurer, who's grand (какой-то

американский фокусник, он великолепен)."