Establishing rapport

Meeting people for the first time - or indeed greeting someone we have met before - is normally accompanied by an appropriate choice of words and actions.

However, how these things are carried out can be significant.

Passing the time of day and, as important, using your opponent's name, is an accepted custom in greeting - just as shaking hands provides an acceptable way of expressing warmth to the other person. We make some hidden judgements on the basis of these greetings:

• the firmness of the handshake – the 'crusher' or the 'wet fish'!

• the distance of the parties when they shake hands

• the formality or informality of the greeting – varying from 'Good morning' to 'Hi' or 'G'day'

• the warmth of the facial expression when meeting e.g. smiles can be open or, perhaps, cynical

• the extent of eye contact - open and level, or hooded and uncertain

• there is also the appearance of the parties – the manner of dress, etc.

The golden rule in the area of appearance - for the best results - is to try not to breach any areas of preference on the part of your opponent! This is not to say that there is no room for individuals in negotiation - but, breaching areas of known inhibition can be dangerous and expensive (as many employees will know from the experience of asking the boss for a rise!).