Love and Marriage. Family Matters

Are you a romantic person?

The paramount quality of a romantic person is sensitivity. The romantic is a person who FEELS deeply, and attaches a lot of meaning to those feelings. Because of this, the romantic will express him/herself through such things as affection, verbal declarations of love, and meaningful gestures, all of which come from deep within. A romantic will perceive a richness of detail that is lost on the non-romantic type -- such things as the fleeting expression of a lover’s eyes. In a split second, the romantic has perceived a hint of sadness there, which the lover quickly tries to hide, by pretending it was never there to begin with. But the romantic saw it, and was touched by it....This takes sensitivity, depth of feeling, as well as spiritual awareness. Romantic people LOVE to give love! Romantic types simply want to make sure that their partners feel loved, special, and ppreciated. No gesture is either too big or small to show how they feel about their beloved. So there are the grand gestures, as in the case of the crazy-in-love guy who proposed to his girlfriend through a message on a Good year blimp......but there are also the small gestures, such as when a woman gives her husband a nice card, in which he finds tickets to a football game, for him and his best buddy. I consider myself to be VERY romantic. When in the throes of romantic passion, I will write passionate poems, and read them to my other half. I will also frequently tell him how much I love him, and ask him to look into my eyes, so he can see my love for him there....... There is another aspect to "being a romantic", though. It involves an outlook on life. In this sense, being romantic means being sensitive as well, but it’s a sensitivity to the beautiful, the spiritual, the sublime. To sum up, being a romantic entails being sensitive, expressive, and spiritual, not only in regards to one’s beloved, but in one’s life as well, through saturating it with great beauty.

Do you believe in love?

The subject of love is one inspiring poets, writers and artists; those who were lucky in love and those who were passed over by Cupid…Love has been defined as wise, silly, profound, bitter, funny…It seems that every person has a different understanding of love, or at least the attitude to love varies greatly from person to person.. It may be a surprising revelation to some of us, because love has traditionally been considered to be something that unites people(at least that’s what I’ve been taught). And yet, there’s no use denying the fact that love has as many definitions as there are human beings on this planet. And it doesn’t necessarily mean that love no longer unites people. It just means that love has different dimensions, different sides that reflect our understanding of life. I’ve heard somebody said that "love is friendship set on fire". To my mind, it's a brilliant thought. I mean, the good thing about friendship is that it gives you a feeling of security…it's like a pair of old shoes that you've worn for a long time…you get this feeling of comfort and coziness…And if "love is friendship set on fire", then, it seems to me, love is really worth living for. Some cynics may say that love is something that makes one blind and prevents from thinking clearly. "To be in love is to be in the state of perceptual anesthesia", some people claim. But personally, I can't let myself be cynical about love. Maybe I'm too young and inexperienced, but I believe it's a great feeling. Some say that love is the true meaning of our life. They also say that “love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness”. I can't but agree. Love is something that makes us tender and affectionate, and caring… It's when another person’s needs become more important than yours and you don’t treat it as a burden. It's when you do your best to make one's life easier in this troublesome world…Love is a feeling that makes you stronger and helps you to get through a crisis. It's something I can't imagine my life without.

What types of love do you know about?

Maternal/ Paternal Love This is the foremost type of love that a person experiences even before he/she comes into the world. From the time a woman conceives, this love emerges strongly for the child and remains until the death. While maternal love refers to the love showered on the child by a mother, paternal love is the love that a father bestows upon his little one. This is most basic type of unconditional love that has ruled the world ever since the evolution of mankind. Maternal love is more concerned with nurturing, acceptance and protectiveness, whereas paternal love involves guidance and control. Platonic Love Type 2 of love can be termed as the sweetest of all. Commonly experienced in the company of siblings, chuddy buddies and friends, this is one of the foremost types of love that a child experiences after maternal/paternal love. This type of love is pure in its form and has no strings attached to it. Interestingly, platonic love emerges at a time when a child doesn’t even know the meaning of love, when life is all about cartoons, food, play and sleep. With time, platonic love helps in developing strong bonds that play a quintessential role in the life of a person. Teenage Love Do you remember your first crush? Of course, you do! No person can deny the irresistible spark that a first crush has on life. Those jolts in stomach, the grinning smile that you just can’t seem to control and that bizarre sense of throwing up each time he/she comes forward are one of the sweetest sensations of growing up, especially teenage. Infatuations and crushes are a part of growing up stage and often eventually lead to romantic love. Fantasy, illusion and dreaminess are associated with this type of love. Teenagers have a whimsical fantasy about it and are often seen making castles in the air. Hands down, those flights of fancy and pipedreams are definitely the cutest experiences of love! Romantic Love Even before Valentine’s Day was celebrated, romantic love existed! The most popular form of love, it is a celebration of union of two people who are passionate for each other and have an understanding between them. With romantic love in the air, the world just seems to be a better place to live in. Romantic love dominates the cognitive, emotional and behavioural aspect of a person so much so that not a single second is spend without having the other mind. The blissfulness of love overpowers every other feeling and experience and makes life worth living. Such is the ecstasy of the time that just the idea of being in love makes a person go weak in the knees and have butterflies in stomach. Unconditional Love Well, arguably the most pious and the hardest of all, unconditional love is not what many experience. It is like taking a leap of faith altogether to the next level and making your partner fall in love once again. Though it is not an ‘out of the world’ experience, it is definitely not easy to attain. Selflessness is the only word that best describes unconditional love. It is like loving someone more than loving your own self. If you care for someone more than you care for anything in the world, chances are you are in the middle of unconditional love. The most sincere form of love, unconditional love lasts forever. Spiritual Love Just like unconditional love, not many experience spiritual love either. It is the oneness with God that one feels. When the love for the Divine is deeply intertwined with the being, spiritual love emerges. It is a belief that a person has over God and the willingness to share the same with friends and fellow people. The transcendental nature of spiritual love is exceptional and can be felt only when a person is truly involved with God. Self-Love To love someone, you need to first love yourself. Self-love is the positive feeling that you have for what you are and what you deserve. This feeling of love is often expressed by treating yourself well, respecting yourself, wanting yourself to be happy. Self-love often determines a person’s status in the society and the demand for respect and concern from fellow people. Only when you respect your individuality and distinctiveness, would others follow suit too. So, if you have been belittling yourself for quite some time and having disparaging views about your own self, stop doing the same! Love yourself to truly love others! Tough Love An unusual form of love, tough love is a love that is closely guarded and seemingly hard. Does this make you wonder how can something like love be hard and tough? It can, if it is aimed for the betterment of a person. An example of the same is the forceful enrolment of a drug addict into a rehabilitation centre by his parents. This act of love, though may seem tough on the outside, actually stems from the thought of helping the child have a better and safe future. A day-to-day example of this type of love is when parents reprimand their children to study and not idle their time away.

Do dating customs differ in different countries?

In more primitive times or early ages, there was no such thing as dating or courtship based on how we know it today. The main tradition was for men to seize their wife! The men would raid towns and villages and literally capture the woman they chose. Many of dating customs evolved in nonmodern times by the concept of chivalry. It is these old traditions where modern dating evolved and men are often expected to pay for the date and open the door for his date out of respect. In 1228, women were given the right to ask for a mans hand in marriage. It was not until the mid 1800s that romance and love was a main factor for a successful relationship. The principals of dating were intolerant and staunch. How things would play out in the early days is that both men and women used cards and their names would be indicated on the cards. In an elaborate courtship ritual, it was customary for chaperones to come with couples on dates. In today’s modern societies, how things have changed! Dating customs of the early times would never be an acceptable practice now days. However this can vary depending on what part of the world you come from. In Australia, it is acceptable for women to ask men out and even split the dinner bill or even pay the full amount for the date. This tradition is becoming a wide dating concept throughout many western countries. In Europe, boys and girls quite often go out with a group of people, or group dates. This concept provides a more casual atmosphere, and if there is a mutual attraction between two people it is common for them to split away from the group to get to know each other further. In some Middle Eastern countries, Iran for example, dating outside marriage is a forbidden practice. Girls and boys are never allowed to exchange contact or communication until the time their marriage takes place which is arranged by their parents. Afghanistan also follows the same concept of dating and marriage. Many Asian countries such as Korea and Japan leave dating and socializing with the opposite sex until later in life when they have completed their studies and college. In South America, Brazil for example, dating in groups like the Europeans do is not common. Men and women tend to date for long periods before they marry. Chinese dating traditions usually see men and women starting to date when they are in their twenties. It is common for single Chinese people to only have romantic relations with 0ne or two people prior to getting married. With the many traditions within China, arranged marriages are not unusual. In some Asian countries, it is common for newly weds to live together with one set of parents – deciding which set of parents has been known to cause friction between the associated families. Dating, relationships and marriage are a big part of any culture, however the processes vary considerably depending on culture and traditions of your home land. Visit us for online dating Australia reviews including recommendations for singles chat rooms to spice up your love life.

At what age is it customary for people to get married?

This Question is unanswerable. People get married at all ages--even as CHILDREN in some countries. The biggest differentiator of marriage age seems to be a country's income, with people in developed countries marrying later. Nordic countries and Western Europe rank among the highest for mean age at marriage at above 30 years. Afghanistan has one of the lowest at 20.2 years. Averaging the marriage age of entire populations hides the fact that men get married much later than women. This is true in every country. The gender age gap for marriage is wider in less developed countries: women get married 8.3 years earlier in Afghanistan to 1.8 years in France, for example. It remains common today for women to marry very young in some developing countries. Thirty nine countries have data showing that 20% of women married by age 18. In twenty countries, a full 10% of women married by age 15. In only 2 countries, however, are 10% of men married before the age of 18. Still, men and women are getting married later in every region of the world. The average age of marriage for women increased from 21.8 to 24.7 years from the seventies to the mid 2000s, with the average age for men rising a comparable amount.

What are the advantages and drawback of marriages of convenience or arranged marriages?

A marriage of convenience is one that is not based on love. The two people are not involved in a romantic relationship and are instead getting together for other reasons. A well-known example of this type of marriage is when someone gets married for citizenship. While not all marriages of convenience are illegal, this type is, punishable by both a fine and a prison sentence. These marriages might also take place to take advantage of certain financial or legal loopholes. What are some of the benefits? For some people, what started as a marriage based on love eventually turns into a marriage of convenience. At this point, many would choose to get a divorce. But some don't. Divorce can be a long, messy process, and some people choose to forego this and remain married, though they are no longer in love. Only you can decide whether this is the best option for you. If you are content living with your spouse, although there is no romance, then it might be a good choice. Whether you have children is also something else to consider. If you and your spouse can exist in relatively peaceful terms, it might be less disruptive for the children if you stay together. Though it was more prevalent in the past, homosexual men and women might marry a friend of the opposite sex in order to hide their true sexuality. What are some of the drawbacks? The main drawback to this type of marriage is that you will be foregoing the chance of a relationship based on love. While in the short-term this might seem okay, are you still going to feel okay with it 5 or 10 years down the road? If you have children, you might want to consider the kind of example this is setting for them. While on the one hand there are some benefits to staying together for the kids, there are also drawbacks to this as well. If your spouse is not going to be the person you feel passionately about, who shares similar interests as you, you are going to have to find and nurture those relationships with other people.

What sort of relationship can there be in family?

The family is very important as a unit in our society. Nothing else but family can be an emotional center of people's life, can be a transmitter of culture and raising children. Every mother feels great affection for her children and tries to bring them up in a proper way. Understanding between the members of the family and consideration for others are very important in family relationship. Tenderness, warm-heartedness and respect must always be present in the family to make it friendly. A lot of activities help members of the family to be on friendly terms: discussing all the family plans together, going on trips hikes together, visiting museums, theaters, exhibitions and exchanging opinions about them, sharing the same joys and sorrows. If you think of the others in the family you show your love and attention in everyday life, you can hurt them if you are selfish, not sincere and rude. It is very important to visit relatives on holidays, on birthdays, on anniversaries and develop close relationship. We feel more affection for our relatives when we are parted from them. The proverb says, " /Absence makes the heart grow fonder". When the family is friendly, everybody has the warmed feelings of returning home where dear relatives are waiting for them. There are different opinions on how children should be treated if they disobey their parents, break the rules, do forbidden things, don't keep their words or promises. Some people think that parents should be patient, kind and understanding. The rules and children's behaviors are discussed in such families. But others believe that children ought always to obey the parents and if they won't they should be punished. From my point of view, such principles won't do a lot of good. Fear and punishment will lead to selfishness, cruelty and lies. But "love and kindness will save the world".

Why do marriages break down?

1. MONEY. Too much or too little of it. How to spend it, what to spend it on, who’s spending more? Who should keep charge of it? Couples seem to always have endless discussions and conflicts in this area. 2. CHILDREN. Many couples fall into the error of focusing and building their marital relationship around their children. Soon they end up emotionally distant from one another. Where couples fail to develop and cultivate friendship in their marriages, they would soon find themselves with their kids being the only thing they have in common. 3. MISCOMMUNICATION. Failure to communicate often results to endless fights and finally, unresolved differences. When couples fight on the same issues over and over again, they start to tire, until finally they just stop talking. There’s a difference between being heard and being understood, and there’s a difference between hearing and understanding. You don’t have to agree with your spouse all the time but you must strive to understand him/her. 4. INCOMPATIBILITIES. Failing to deal with and accept incompatibilities will naturally erode the marriage relationship. Couples must strive to change what they can and accept what they can’t. Love and forgiveness is the key. Some incompatibilities are in the area of: a. Intellectual incompatibility- where spouses just can’t seem to find a common ground for interesting or worthwhile conversation b. Sexual incompatibility – where one or both spouses aren’t able to satisfy or be satisfied in the area of physical intimacy 5. TIME. Time can be used for or against marriage. People will always give time for what is important to them. And if you really want something to work, you’ll keep on trying. That involves time! 6. IN-LAWS. When too many heads rule a relationship, chaos abounds. And some spouses escape conflict by seeking refuge in their parents’ homes. 7. IGNORANCE. Some people enter the marriage relationship not fully aware of what it fully entails. No marriage will ever be free from problems or disagreements. Some leave the relationship at the point of conflict or if not, settle to live together harboring resentment in their hearts. It’s a union of 2 persons who love each other, that’s all they know. They forget that, it is a union between 2 IMPERFECT persons who love each other.

What are the rules for a happy marriage?

Share and Share Alike. Many couples will tell you that the main difference in their lives is the transformation from thinking in terms of “I” to “We”. This transformation does not happen overnight and it will take some work and time before the process is complete. However, you will have to remember that all decisions beyond the trivial ones will have to include your spouse in the process otherwise you are just thinking for yourself. The more the two of you participate in making decisions, the stronger your marriage will become.

Air Out Your Disagreements As Soon As Possible. One of the biggest reasons couples break up is the inability to express their feelings at the time something happens which bothers them. This builds up over time to become resentment and pretty soon the breaking point is reached where there is no turning back. Instead, if something happens that bothers you, talk about it as soon as it is practical to air it out and get it out of the way. You will find that such discussions can short circuit any resentment or bad feelings that would otherwise fester inside.

Be Yourself. There are certain things in a marriage that does not have to be shared and the most important is the pursuit of hobbies or personal interests that does not impact that marriage. Many couples have separate hobbies or interest that actually keeps the energy and the passion flowing between them. Respect for the other’s interests is important, so keep that in mind when you are following your own hobbies.

Keep Your Friends Near. Friendships are an important part of the rules for a happy marriage. Having old friends or those who share your interests and hobbies are very important because no one, no matter how magnificent, can meet all the needs of their spouse. Having a “girl’s night out” or “poker night with the guys” is very important in terms of personal health and well being, so keep your friends near.

Remember that You Won’t Agree on Everything. Conflicts are going to happen in your relationship and not all of them will be resolved. Understanding that there are certain things that you will have to agree to disagree is part of all successful marriages. There will be times when you know you are right and your spouse is just as adamant about being right as well. If you can compromise, perfect. But otherwise someone is going to win out which means that it’s important for the “loser” to be treated fairly otherwise it can build up resentment.

Family life is less important in the modern world than it was in the past. Do you agree?

In the modern would we live in, there are less and less traditional extended families including grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Instead, more and more nuclear families are taking their places. As for me, who grow up in a nuclear family, I would like to agree with the topic statement that the extended family is less important now than in the past. As we can see from the history, extended family proved to be beneficial in the past, like a big family would have a deep influence in the society both economically and politically, and the big family would always give a shelter and food for each individuals of the family. However, with the invention of steam machine and the development of industrialization, the big family was no longer fit in the way that benefited the rapid growth of economy. Besides, there are so many disadvantages to the extended family. It appears to be a big warm family living together; however, less personal privacy is provided in such kind of family. That may probably be the same reason why many adolescents today prefer to live by themselves as soon as they are financial independent. It is easy to get access to other's privacy when all relatives live together, which is especially unwelcome when involves beneficial conflicts. At the same time, there is not as much warmth as it seems like to be. Living with all your relative means one has to divide one's attention to many parts to a certain person, and attention attained remains the same. The person you want to get attention from can only give you a small part. Additionally, choosing a job has many restrictions as an improper choice will probably involve the family benefits. And it seems like the bigger family one lives in, the more possible it would be to make a "wrong" decision. While, in comparison, there are so many benefits that can gain from living in a relatively small family. It is the production of industrialization. Fierce competition and rapid development of economy require us to keep pace with the time, require us to center on our jobs. Move where we are going to work without restriction of the big family. It is easier to advance one's career and achieve success. Also, intimate relationship will bound the members of smaller family. As the typical small family is a picture with a husband and a wife and two or three children. More time are offered for them to spend together comparing with live in an extended family. Disadvantages of this kind of family? Of course, there are some, like too much familiarization without enough contact with the society will lead prejudgment, but with the development of mass media, more access to the outside world is available.