Philosophy on Life

Which is nearest to your philosophy on life: “Go where life takes you”, “Do it now”, “ Life is not a dress rehearsal”? Why?

“ Life isn’t a dress rehearsal – you won’t get a second chance to do your best. ” (This is a modern proverb that may not be traceable to an individual. The earliest evidence located by QI was printed in 1953 in the Covina Argus-Citizen newspaper of Covina California. Pastor Lawrence T. Holman of the Church of the Nazarene used the expression as the title of an evening sermon). This quote sums up one of the most striking lessons I learned from my life. Basically, it means do what you are best at and spend time on things that you really enjoy. You can’t wait around for the chance to go for it. You must create your own opportunities, be proactive and take certain calculated risks in order to live your life to the fullest and achieve your full potential. Don’t sell yourself short by not putting your full effort in. If you are afraid of failure and going all in, realize that many chances are one-time things. There may never be another opportunity like the one you are facing, so give it everything you’ve got. Work to defeat fear of failure by doing what you are afraid of as often as possible; eventually you’ll see that the benefits far outweigh the risks of doing what you are passionate about. What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger.

What are your short-term and long-term ambitions? Do you think your ambitions stop you enjoying real life?

Determination is an integral part of my character, which helps me in reaching goals, as each and every time I take up something new, I am determined in my success. This very trait of my character identifies me as a personality, and I am more than convinced that I would not have achieved everything I have now without it. I have always tried to set clear targets and reach them whatever happens. At the moment, despite the fact that I am fully indulged in studying and working, I find time and strength to start up new activities and reach new goals. One of my short-term goals relates to one of my dreams – visiting Japan. I have always been attracted by this culture: mysterious, magnetic, charming, and at the same time still unexplored. Japan is one of the countries which is at the top of my ‘to do list’, and I am convinced that it is high time I let this Eastern mystery into my heart. Despite the fact that a trip to Japan is rather costly, I have started to save money, and am ready to spend it on this particular goal. Not only is it a good way to meet new people, but also a brilliant opportunity to learn more about the culture, traditions, people and other peculiarities. When it comes to some long-term goals, I have also made up my mind. I am convinced that the best source of investment is knowledge. That’s the reason why I’ve decided to enroll in Spanish courses and study the language. Taking into account that the contemporary world has been developing with enormous speed, Spanish language has penetrated almost all the countries. The vast majority of countries all over the world are using Spanish as their official language. I am quite sure that I will need it in my work and I am determined that it will help me in the future immensely anyway: while travelling, meeting new people, reading authentic literature or even watching films, let alone opening new horizons. As has already been mentioned, I am an extremely determined person! I do set clear targets, and I am convinced that whatever happens, I will do my best to succeed. This is why I think that my ambitions sometimes stop me from enjoying life – I get too obsessed with my ideas and goals and fall out of life trying to reach them. If I really want something, I can spend days without sleeping trying to get it. Afterwards I feel very exhausted. It is possible that one day my ambitions will drive me nuts.

Do you think people do not live for the present because they are afraid of failure?

Yes, I agree. Such people always put off their life till tomorrow as they can’t understand that If you never attempt your goals because you are afraid to fail, then you have already failed. Doing something today terrifies them: what if I fail? Failure may be in the back of your mind, but it should never stop you from attempting to reach for your goal today. People who live in reality, in today, don’t expect life to always go smoothly, and realize that life’s happiness does not go on without interruptions: that in fact, a full life has times of great sadness. They refuse to let major setbacks define the rest of their lives, and they find beauty on the other side of even a major trauma and loss. In essence, they deepen rather than weaken.

What things contribute to (способствует) success?

1. Take care of other people. This includes friends, enemies, animals, any sentient being. 2. Always be polite to everyone. This includes those who are not polite to you. Don't think about the other; just think you are good and nice and you always have to perform kind actions. 3. Don't hurt people. Love everyone and help make them happy. If you love everyone, that love will come back to you. 4. Keep fighting for something worthwhile in your life. 5. Don't lose yourself. Keep trying for what you are doing till you succeed even if it takes your whole life. 6. Don't be angry. Always be curious and happy, never furious. 7. Always ask for help whenever you need it. 8. Learn everything. You should know something about everything. You should have interest in everything around yourself. Even learn all about the negatives too, but use them only for positive purpose. 9. Try to gather knowledge as much as you can and share all the knowledge to anyone who is interested. 10. If you missed an opportunity don't worry. There is another greater opportunity coming your way. Some people miss something and then they keep thinking of that and stay worry and they also miss their upcoming greater opportunity. 11. Losing and Winning: " Everybody can fight when he is sure of winning, but give me a man who is pluck into fight even when he is sure of losing". "Our greatest victory is not in never failing, but in getting up every time we fail".

Is it worth making sacrifices to become successful?

It depends. If we’re talking about sacrifices like ruining one’s health or killing someone to be a success, then NO, of course. But if we’re talking about trying to do your best at something to be a success, then why not? Some people love what they do and they spend their lives doing it, I can’t judge them or blame them for that. The only thing I don’t understand in such cases is when such people sacrifice their families. I’ve always wanted to ask them why they actually start a family if all the want is to become successful in their field. On the whole, it’s a matter of one’s choice within the bound of reason, of course.

Can one profit from misfortunes?

Yes. “Misfortunes make us wise” (Mary Norton, The Borrowers Afield).

Our lives are constantly evolving and with the change we have to adjust, otherwise we will be left behind in evolution. It is unfortunately usually the bad, the unexpected, the difficult part of life that has the most profound impact on our lives. When our lives become so hard, so intolerable that we are ready to crawl into a dark corner pulling a hood over our heads, desperately wishing the world to end, it is then that we are facing a choice. And an important choice it is, for our future happiness is depending on the next step we take. Difficulties of life such as living with virtually no money and tossing and turning at night worrying about the next day and the reality that the day will be that of struggle and worry is no laughing matter. Yes, it is stressful when you have to constantly worry about trying to meet the day-to-day basic needs of yours and those loved ones so dependent on you. And yes, it is so easy to spend every waking moment fretting over the bad news your doctor gave you creating monsters and horror scenarios of your imminent future. And yes again, it is ever so easy to succumb under the pressure and sink into the dull existence numbing our senses and our brains. Everyone quite certainly has visited that place one time or another and knows exactly how it feels and how hard it is to wake up to the different world. To the world where one takes a leap of faith and starts to believe in oneself by digging into the uncharted corners of her existence thus finding strengths and gifts hiding behind the black veil of life that nobody knew even existed. It is those gifts of unknown strength and surprise within us that are the most valued treasures of all. It is those little idiosyncrasies in our personalities that we previously thought were drowning us that at the moment of great need will surface as our strengths and will pull us up from the depths of our misery. So surprisingly it is our bad luck, misfortune, suffering and illness that are the building blocks of our true nature. Without suffering there is no need for a person to change, to contemplate his or her life and existence. There is no need for an intellectual and spiritual growth that comes when one is forced to look at oneself honestly after all the black veils are drawn aside. It is then easy to go on living from birth to the grave blindfolded and deaf, without deeper sense of universe around us and without ever realizing our true spirituality and humanity. But if we open our eyes and our hearts to truly listen the universe, wondrous thing will happen: Deep peace inside fills the void that we did not even know existed and the certainty that everything will be all right because we have everything given for us already penetrates through the consciousness alerting us to the fact that indeed we are lacking nothing. For majority of people it takes suffering and unexpected encounters of life to come to this realization. For it is not until we have the need, a real need, that we truly start probing and searching the inner resources we have. And even then it might take a some mighty serious events before we truly realize the power within us. The gifts and skills that we were born with and some of which we have collected along the way, those are the building blocks for a solid foundation of life.

What things are important to your happiness: Marriage? Good health? Achieving your ambitions? Why?

Good health, of course. I cannot imagine how can one be happy in marriage or achieve one’s ambitions without good health. I do believe the proverb “Good health is above wealth”. Studies show that a person's health is one of the strongest predictors of happiness. Poor health has the potential to significantly affect almost every aspect of your life: your independence, your self-image, your personal relationships, your ability to work and carry out basic daily activities. So it's no surprise that when your health takes a hit, your happiness does as well. When the change in health status is severe, for example, involving chronic pain or multiple disabilities -- the impact on happiness can be long lasting. And both physical health and emotional health influence happiness. Mood disorders diminish quality of life even more than chronic physical ailments, such as arthritis, heart disease, and diabetes.

What are the most common causes of happiness?

The surveys show that the most common cause of happiness is relationships with friends (36%). Then come the success experience (16%) and the basic physical pleasures of food, drink and sex (9%). Putting together the results of different surveys and studies we can make a list of the most common sources of joy: 1. Eating; 2. Social activities and sex; 3. Exercise and sport; 4. alcohol and other drugs; 5. success and social approval; 6. use of skills; 7. religion, music and other arts; 8. Weather and environment; 9. Rest and relaxation. It is a very interesting list. It disposes of one theory of joy, that it is due to the decrease in excitement or stress; only the last on the list fits it. Satisfaction of biological needs is only one source of joy, the first on the list. Indeed some of the sources do not relate to the satisfaction of any known need.By far the most common source of joy is relation with other people, especially in friendship and love.

What are the eternal values of life?

What is life? What do we life for? What are the values of life? People have been asking these questions since times immemorial and each generation tries to find the keys to them. There is an old legend. Long time ago there lived two men. When their children were born they, left their families and started wandering with sacks on their backs. While traveling around the world they put small stones into their sacks. A lot of years passed. The men decided to return to their wives and children. They were happy to be again with their families. In the evening, when they opened their sacks, they found out that their stones disappeared. One of them found beautiful flowers in his sack. They were Health, Love, Happiness and Friendship. He gave these flowers to his children and asked to guard them so that they should never leave their family. He told his children that those beautiful flowers were the values of life. Another man found spiders and snakes in his sack. He had nothing to give to his children. He collected greed, thirst for money and envy. It is sometimes the case with us. Some of us find that our values of life are everlasting. Others only at the end of their lives, come to understand that they have cared only for material things and haven’t thought about the eternal.

What is the good society?

Our answers to this question will always draw upon our personal values and describe the kind of society in which we could feel a sense of well-being. But there is more to a good society than the sum of the values or the sense of well-being and happiness of each individual. As we each individually pursue what makes us feel good, we affect the lives of others. A good society has procedures for making collective judgments about how these effects are to be managed. Understanding what makes family life or working life good – or not – can help answer the question of what makes a good society. In these settings, we soon learn that self-interest will not work well or for long, unless it is coupled with some understanding of, and sympathy for, the interests of others. Let’s take a pulic school for example. There is much evidence that children and young people learn best in schools where they have a sense of belonging; where they have opportunities to learn things that they value; and where they experience personal achievement and progress. They will not generally prosper in schools where they feel like 'outsiders'. They will not engage in learning if they feel that the odds are rigged against their being able to succeed. Schools or school systems that make the opportunities to achieve so unfair that some students are always the 'losers' will create fear, cynicism and alienation among those students. Schools that provide no challenge or reward for high achievement by groups and individuals will create boredom. So far, I have argued that a good society – like a good school – requires a continuing effort to manage the tensions between the democratic values of liberty, equality and solidarity. Like a good school or a good family, a good society makes it easier rather than harder for us to be our best selves, to be 'good' persons and to live 'good' lives. A good society is one in which most individuals consider it rational to treat each other in the way they themselves would want to each be treated by others when presented with similar circumstances: a society where people aspire to 'do' as they would be 'done by' and to live good lives that serve good ends. The ends which people want to achieve are determined by three things, according to Hugh Stretton and Lionel Orchard: their desires and their capabilities. Stretton and Orchard remind us that our desires are not all greedy or antisocial; and that capabilities can only be exercised in the circumstances in which they find themselves. As well as their desires and capabilities, Stretton and Orchard remind us of the Aristotelian principle 'that human beings enjoy the exercise of their realised capacities (their innate or trained abilities), and this enjoyment increases the more their capacity is realised, or the greater its complexity. In their view, which I share, a good society is interesting. It satisfies our desire for variety and novelty of experience, it has room for feats of ingenuity and invention, and the pleasures of anticipation and surprise. My understanding of a good society is one that is open to new and different ideas.

How can you live a meaningful life?

Answering the question, “What is my life’s purpose?” isn’t easy for most people. We all want to be successful and feel important; yet being successful is much different than living a life of significance. Developing significance is about having a sense of meaning and knowing we offer value to the world and others. It’s beginning to recognize a purpose greater than ourselves and how we can impart this calling to others. Many people write personal mission and value statements for this reason. They want to have a clear idea of why they’re here and how they can live out their purpose. To begin making sense of life, explore where you’ve been. Consider the important parts of your past that lead to who you are today. Where did your beliefs and values come from? Consider who you are now and what you can offer and begin to share with others. What are your strengths and accomplishments that can be built on and developed further? What are your current beliefs and values? Lastly, uncover were you want to go. What’s your vision for the future and why do you want to go there? What are you striving to do, and why do you want to do these things?

What shall you be loyal to?

Always be loyal to your values and your close one’s.

11. Parenthood: Bringing up children.

What is stronger, “nature” or “nurture”?

Psychologist ask which factors are decisive in developing human behavioral characteristics: genetic background or education and upbringing? As far as intelligence is concerned, both genetics and upbringing determine the final outcome. We can easily show that genetics can stifle - подавить intellectual development (Down syndrome). And individuals deprived of education and human contact may be deprived - лишены of the ability to read, speak or conduct abstract reasoning, i.e. we can show that lack of education may be equally devastating to the human mind. The power of genetics on the functioning of the brain is illustrated by afflictions - физические недостатки such as Down syndrome (mental retardation - отсталость), dyslexia (reading problems), amusia (problems with recognizing sounds and music), unipolar and bipolar disorders (depression and manic-depressive disorder), and many more. These factors on one hand illustrate that we may at birth be handicapped in the quest for genius. At the same time, behavioral therapies used in all listed cases, show the tremendous power of training in developing compensation for disability. Well-designed training can produce amazing results in enhancing intelligence. Genius is based on good hardware, excellent knowledge, strong motivation, and minimum negative interference - вмешательство.

Can “hothousing” produce “better people”? Would you bring up your child in this way?

No and no, Hothouse children are children whose parents push them into learning more quickly and earlier than is appropriate for the cognitive age of the children. Hothouse children are often overscheduled in activities their parents believe are essential to their children's success in life. The two keys terms in this definition are "push" and "cognitive age." “Hothousing” parents risk damaging their young. The child feels valued for what he knows rather than for who he is. Parents may develop a fear of failure. Early education teachers may miss truly gifted children.

Should parents have high expectations of their children?

A recent study at the Harvard Family Research Project suggests that high expectations in school lead to high performance. In the digest of this study, we read: Parent involvement should not be viewed and defined in too narrow terms, such as direct involvement in homework completion, because the increasingly complex demands of the high school curriculum would prohibit many parents from being involved in that way. However, findings reported in this digest indicate a strong form of parent involvement is expectations. Parents who hold high expectations for their teens, communicate them clearly and encourage their adolescents to work hard in order to attain them, can make a difference in students' success. It has become clear that high but realistic expectations are essential to raising successful children. Parents who set expectations usually see their children rise to their level of expectation. So setting the standards at high but achievable levels will cause children to step up even further.

How to make your child gifted?

Gifted children are those who have outstanding abilities and are capable of high performance. Those who manifest giftedness obviously have some inborn factors plus the motivation and stamina (выносливость, стойкость) to learn from and cope with the rigors (raigors) of living. Therefore, giftedness depends not only on inborn ability but also on the way the ability is developed as the person grows. It also depends on the extent to which the person is interested in the field of their talent. Psychological research held by a professor at the University of Chicago showed none of the 120 talented people showed remarkable talent in early life. It was effort and firmness that made the difference. Parents play a great part in the development of their child’s talent or gift. According to the research, high achievements were not the result of parental pressure and drilling. Their specialization began as an amusement and an exploration shared with a parent, which grew into a lifelong passion. Psychologists also advise that during the early years of learning parents or teachers should be less concerned about the correctness of a child’s work. They should encourage the child’s interest and involve them in field-specific playful activity and exploration. Besides, any effort and little achievement should be applauded by parents. The danger is that some parents apply pressure on their children. This way may produce an anxiety which is completely counter productive, as scientists say. Another research showed that children stimulated and pushed hard by their parents, who were actively involved in what their children did, demonstrated a lower level of alertness and happiness than those in more balanced families. Supportive parents, on the other hand, actively helped their children to follow their interests and praised their results whatever standard was achieved. The children who did best in the study mentioned were those whose parents were both supportive and stimulating. To crown it all, to bring up a gifted child and for them to achieve high results in the area of their gift, it is necessary from their very childhood to involve and interest them in playing and exploring. Parents should take up the approach of support and stimulation, should encourage and praise them, they should never be pushing and never put pressure on their children.

What are a “stimulating” parental style and a “supportive” parental style?

Supporting parents are those who get out of children’s way to help them follow their pet interests and praise their any achievements. Usually these parents create a harmonious home governed by clear rules. Stimulating parents are more actively involved in what their children do, steering (направляя) them certain fields and pushing them to work hard, often acting as a tutor.

What factors determine your child’s development?

Child development refers to the biological, psychological and emotional changes that occur in human beings between birth and the end of adolescence, as the individual progresses from dependency to increasing autonomy. It is a continuous process with a predictable sequence yet having a unique course for every child. It does not progress at the same rate and each stage is affected by the preceding types of development. Because these developmental changes may be strongly influenced by genetic factors and events during prenatal life, genetics and prenatal development are usually included as part of the study of child development. Developmental change may occur as a result of genetically-controlled processes known as maturation, or as a result of environmental factors and learning, but most commonly involves an interaction between the two. It may also occur as a result of human nature and our ability to learn from our environment. Promoting child development through parental training, among other factors, promotes excellent rates of child development. Parents play a large role in a child's life, socialization, and development. Having multiple parents can add stability to the child's life and therefore encourage healthy development. Another influential factor in a child's development is the quality of their care. Child care programs present a critical opportunity for the promotion of child development.