Reading for Fun

Humour:

A doctor had a urgent phone call from a gentleman saying his small son had swollen his fountain pen.

“All right. I’ll come round at once,” replied the doctor, but what are you doing in the meantime?” Whereto came an unexpected answer: “Trying to do with a pencil”.

****

Two friends met in the street after not having seen each other for some time. One of them was using crutches.

“Hello!” said the other man. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Car accident,” said he man on crutches.

“When did it happen?”

“Oh, about six weeks ago”.

“And you still have to do with crutches?”

“Well, my doctor says I should do without them and my lawyer says I can’t”.

****

A man went to his doctor and requested treatment for his ankle. After a careful examination, the doctor asked:

“How long have you been going about like this?”

“Two weeks”

“Why, man, your ankle is broken! How didn’t you comer to meat first?”

“Well, doctor, every time I say something is wrong with me, my wife goes at me and says I’ll have to get over my habit of smoking.”

****

“If you tell a man anything, it goes in one ear and goes out the other,” she remarked

“And if you tell a woman anything,” he countered, “it goes in both ears, then out of her mouth and about the town”.

****

- You say he left no money.

- No. You see, he lost his health getting wealthy and lost his wealth trying to get healthy.

****

A doctor told his patient that there was nothing really the matter with him: “ All you require is more outdoor life, walk two or three miles regularly every day.

What’s your business?” – “I’m a letter carrier, doctor.”

****

- I have an awful toothache.

- I’d have taken it out if it was mine.

- If it was yours, I would, too.

****

- Why the broad grin?

- I’ve just come from my dentist’s.

- Is that anything to laugh at?

Yes, he wasn’t in and won’t be for two days.

PART 3