Campaign of malevolence

Namie became interested in female bullying after seeing his wife suffer at the hands of a ‘Machiavellian’ colleague. ‘This woman feigned fondness for my wife — she courted her, she took her to lunch, but this turned out to be nothing more than intelligence gathering, to use against my wife later on,’ he says. The adjectives psychologists often use to describe female bullying are ‘ covert ’, ‘subtle’ and ‘manipulative’. It might be spreading a rumour, questioning someone’s competence or ignoring a victim’s contribution. But, according to Namie, we should not confuse bullying with a random act of malevolence. ‘It’s really a full-blown, laser-focused campaig n of systematic, interpersonal destruction.’

Our studies reveal that targets are often independent, skilled and well-liked,’Evie, a 29-year-old events

manager, is given her daily dose of venom with a

smile and a clever rhetorical question. ‘My

colleague will wait until the boss is in the room

and then say something like, “Do you really

think you’re experienced enough for this client?”.

She constantly undermines me and it’s knocking

my confidence.’

But the devil doesn’t just wear Prada — she can lord over the school committee, turn your neighbourhood into Wisteria Lane or even put you off the gym. Along with clinical depression, anger and debilitating anxiety, a recent study showed that 30 per cent of women experience post-traumatic stress disorder from bullying. ‘When someone has been a victim of bullying, they become “hollowed out”. They lose everything: their self-respect, their confidence and their appetite,’ says organisational psychologist Mary Sherry. She has spent the past 15 years working with businesses to overcome bullying and, in her experience, female managers are more likely to bully staff than male ones.

The victims of adult bullying are often popular and talented. ‘Our studies reveal that targets are often independent, skilled and well-liked,’ says Namie. Being famous and beautiful certainly doesn’t give you immunity. Model Sophie Anderton has talked about being bullied, while actress Sienna Miller has spoken about the ‘ vitriol’ she has experienced from the media and from some friends. ‘It’s women who are holding us back — there’s no sisterhood,’ she said in an interview.

Many of us have witnessed bullying, but don’t know how to react, though it leaves us deeply uncomfortable. A UK survey on bullying revealed that 11 per cent of bystanders experience trauma vicariously.

‘If you witness someone being attacked, it sickens you,’ says Namie. ‘But then you’re further sickened by knowing you did nothing. The way you resolve that dissonance is to say to yourself, “It mustn’t have been so bad”.’ Namie believes workers need to take responsibility when they see poisonous behaviour around them.