How manipulators control their victims

Psychological manipulation

· positive reinforcement - includes praise, superficial charm, superficial sympathy (crocodile tears), excessive apologizing; money, approval, gifts; attention, facial expressions such as a forced laugh or smile; public recognition.

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· negative reinforcement –(семейные дела) includes nagging, yelling, the silent treatment, intimidation, threats, swearing, emotional blackmail, the guilt trap, sulking, crying, and playing the victim.

nagging guilt trap, sulking, crying, and playing the victim. silent treatment, - бабские дела

· intermittent or нерегулярный partial reinforcement - Partial or intermittent negative reinforcement can create an effective climate of fear and doubt,

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Этим нас не проймешь - traumatic one-trial learning - using verbal abuse, explosive anger, or other intimidating behavior to establish dominance or superiority; even one incident of such behavior can condition or train victims to avoid upsetting, confronting or contradicting the manipulator.

manipulative techniques:

· Lying: It is hard to tell if somebody is lying at the time they do it although often the truth may be apparent later when it is too late. One way to minimize the chances of being lied to is to understand that some personality types (particularly psychopaths) are experts at the art of lying and cheating, doing it frequently, and often in subtle ways.

· Lying by omission: This is a very subtle form of lying by withholding a significant amount of the truth.

· Denial: Manipulator refuses to admit that he or she has done something wrong.

· Rationalization: An excuse made by the manipulator for inappropriate behavior. Rationalization is closely related to spin.

· Minimization: This is a type of denial coupled with rationalization. The manipulator asserts that his or her behavior is not as harmful or irresponsible as someone else was suggesting, for example saying that a taunt or insult was only a joke.

· Selective inattention or selective attention: Manipulator refuses to pay attention to anything that may distract from his or her agenda, saying things like "I don't want to hear it".

· Diversion: Manipulator not giving a straight answer to a straight question and instead being diversionary, steering the conversation onto another topic.

· Evasion: Similar to diversion but giving irrelevant, rambling, vague responses, weasel words. говорить уклончиво, юлить, вилять

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Weasel words may be used to detract from an uncomfortable fact, such as the act of firing staff. By replacing "firing staff" with "headcount reduction", one may soften meaning.[16]Jargonof this kind is used to describe thingseuphemistically.

In certain kinds of advertisements, words are missing or withheld deliberately to deceive the buyer. Words such as more or better are misleading due to the absence of a comparison:

· "... up to 50% off." (How many items were actually decreased in price by half? The statement holds true even if the price of only one item is reduced by half, and the rest by very little.)

· "Save up to $100 or more!" (What exactly is the significance of the $100? It is neither a minimum nor a maximum, it just sits arbitrarily somewhere in an undefined range.)

· "... is now 20% cheaper!" (Cheaper than what? The last model? Some arbitrarily inflated price?)

· "Four out of five people would agree..." (How many subjects were included in the study?)

· "... is among the (top, leading, best, few, worst, etc.)" (Top 100? Best in customer service/quality/management?)

· "... for a fraction of the original price!" (This wording suggests a much lower price even though the fraction could easily be 99/100)

· "More people are using..." (What does that mean in numbers?)

· "Nothing Is Stronger/Longer Lasting/Safer." (How many are equally as strong/long lasting/safe?)

· "Lose 20 pounds in 3 weeks" (20 pounds of what? Water, muscle, bone?)

· Covert intimidation: Manipulator throwing the victim onto the defensive by using veiled (subtle, indirect or implied) threats.

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· Guilt tripping: A special kind of intimidation tactic. A manipulator suggests to the conscientious victim that he or she does not care enough, is too selfish or has it easy. This usually results in the victim feeling bad, keeping them in a self-doubting, anxious and submissive position.

· Shaming: Manipulator uses sarcasm and put-downs to increase fear and self-doubt in the victim. Manipulators use this tactic to make others feel unworthy and therefore defer to them. Shaming tactics can be very subtle such as a fierce look or glance, unpleasant tone of voice, rhetorical comments, subtle sarcasm. Manipulators can make one feel ashamed for even daring to challenge them. It is an effective way to foster a sense of inadequacy in the victim.

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· Playing the victim role ("poor me"): Manipulator portrays him- or herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else's behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation.

· Vilifying the victim: More than any other, this tactic is a powerful means of putting the victim on the defensive while simultaneously masking the aggressive intent of the manipulator.

· Playing the servant role: Cloaking a self-serving agenda in guise of a service to a more noble cause, for example saying he is acting in a certain way for "obedience" and "service" to God or a similar authority figure.

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· Seduction: Manipulator uses charm, praise, flattery or overtly supporting others in order to get them to lower their defenses and give their trust and loyalty to him or her.

· Projecting the blame (blaming others): Manipulator scapegoats in often subtle, hard to detect ways.

· Feigning симулировать; прикидываться; подделывать (документы); innocence: Manipulator tries to suggest that any harm done was unintentional or did not do something that they were accused of. Manipulator may put on a look of surprise or indignation. This tactic makes the victim question his or her own judgment and possibly his own sanity.

· Feigning confusion: Manipulator tries to play dumb by pretending he or she does not know what you are talking about or is confused about an important issue brought to his attention.

· Brandishing выставлять напоказ; рекламировать anger: Manipulator uses anger to brandish sufficient emotional intensity and rage to shock the victim into submission. The manipulator is not actually angry, he or she just puts on an act. He just wants what he wants and gets "angry" when denied.

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