Text 78

A GENTLE ECHO ON WOMAN

SHEPHERD: Echo, I wean, will in the wood reply,

And quaintly answer questions: shall I try?

ECHO: Try.

What must we do our passion to express?

Press.

How shall I please her, who ne'er loved before?

Be Fore.

What most moves women when we them address?

A dress.

Say, what can keep her chaste whom I adore?

A door.

If music softens rocks, loves tunes my lyre.

Liar.

Then teach me, Echo, how shall I come by her?

Buy her.

When bought, no question I shall be her dear?

Her deer.

But deer have horns: how must I keep her under?

Keep her under.

But what can glad me when she's laid on bier?

Beer.

What must I do when women will be kind?

Be kind.

What must I do when women will be cross?

Be cross.

Lord, what is she who can so turn and wind?

Wind.

If she be wind, what stills her when she blows?

Blows.

But if she bang again, still should I bang her?

Bang her.

Is there no way to moderate her anger?

Hang her.

Thanks, gentle Echo! right thy answers tell

What woman is and how to guard her well.

Guard her well.

Swift was a keen observer of human folly. Here is one of his observations: "The common fluency of speech in many men, and most women, is owing to a scarcity of matter, and a scarcity of words; for whoever is a master of language, and has a mind full оf ideas, will be apt, in speaking, to hesitate upon the choice of both; whereas common speakers have only one set of ideas, and one set of words to clothe them in; and. these are always ready at the mouth".